Celebrity Bastards

Wealthy celebs prevent families from watching World Cup

Yeah, smile it up, Hilton

Paris Hilton 

Here’s a moving picture for you: a grown man has promised his children a trip of a lifetime to watch the World Cup semi final, but his flight can’t land at the airport in Durban, because the place is littered with private jets.

His children begin to weep.

“Why daddy?” they splutter. “Did we do something wrong?”

Seeing his children cry breaks the grown man’s heart. He too begins to cry.

“Is God angry with us, daddy?”

No, kids, God doesn’t exist. Unfortunately, Paris Hilton does, and she’s a cow.

As reported in today’s Financial Times - a pink paper for bureaucrats - numerous flights were delayed or forced to turn around, because they couldn’t land at King Shaka airport, thanks to private jets owned by the likes of Paris Hilton and Leonardo DiCaprio taking up all of the available space.

Hence, hundreds of excited football supporters were forced to miss the big match.

The weeping father said this:

“We were devastated,”

“We had waited a whole month for the semifinal. We missed everything … We saw nothing.”

“I cried when I looked at my crying children. If ACSA (Airports Company South Africa) had a heart, they would give us tickets to the final.”

“We don’t want money, we just want to go and see the game.”

Paris Hilton, that was your cue.


4 responses so far
  • Missy // July 8, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    The only reason Parry Hilters is even in South Africa is because of Louis Vuitton. So that weeping father should seek recompense from all those corporate entities, like Bavaria and Louis Vuitton, who didn’t want to shell out the cash to be an official sponsor…but instead…slimed their way in through the back door with celebutards who don’t give a fig about football.

  • John // July 8, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    That kinda got me angry this morning. They don’t even give a tosh like Missy said. Bet they watch about 5 mintues of the game in total.

  • Kate // July 9, 2010 at 10:29 am

    These celebrities weren’t even football fans a few days ago.

  • Paris Hilton // July 9, 2010 at 11:33 am

    I sooo think Mexico is going to win. By at least five points. Don Howe is HOT!!!!

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