Transfer Talk

Manchester goes to battle over Balotelli, and much more…

Manchester on “Cool Guy Alert”

Mario Balotelli

There are numerous ker-razy images that you could use to describe last night’s World Cup final – it was like a beautiful ballerina interpreting football via dance with Martin Clunes, or Bruce Lee gracefully doing battle with a one-armed vomiting ape.

It was like listening in on a conversation between Barack Obama and Jordan.

The list is endless. Still, it’s over, the classy ones won, and now to the business of transfers. Here’s what we know, thanks to the likes of the Daily Mail, The Mirror, the ooh-ah Daily Star, and the rest:

In a move presumably intended to act as some kind of spiteful what-might-have-been mirror for Wesley Sneijder, Man United have stepped forward and offered Inter ridiculous money for his notoriously bad tempered team mate, Mario Balotelli.

The word on the street is that he now has both City and United on his back, so it’s not so much a case of whether he wants to swap high fashion and delicious ice cream for chips and gravy, that’s already in the bag. More just whether he prefers the colour red or blue?

In other Big Four news, Chelsea have dropped the biggest hint yet that Ashley Cole might yet barge his way into Cristiano Ronaldo’s midweek sex entourage at Real Madrid, by reportedly making a move for Portugal’s Fabio Coentrao – who had a wonderful World Cup.

By the sound of things, Arsene Wenger went all the way to South Africa just so that he could make a point of ignoring Barcelona.

And the German sensation, Mesut Ozil looks set to ignore the bundles of money being tastelessly wafted in his face like he were talking to Harry Enfield, and this was the late 80s, and shall be staying at Werder Bremen instead. He said this on the matter:

“Bremen want me to fulfil the contract and so do I”

That is all.

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