Ashley Cole booed at wedding, Ronaldo Jnr’s baby mama…
Booooo! Boooooo! Ssssss!
For anyone too enthralled by the golf to bother reading about what else might be going on in the world over the weekend, a couple of big football stories hit the press.
Firstly, Sol Campbell managed to enjoy his least disappointing Saturday afternoon for years, by marrying his interior designer/girlfriend Fiona Barratt.
What appears to have been a wonderful day was only slightly marred by the crowds outside booing Ashley Cole as he made his way in as a guest of the groom.
It’s a testament to Cole that no one is entirely sure which chapter from his back catalogue of appalling behaviour they were booing.
Was it because he confessed to hating his fellow Englishmen?
Was it because he reportedly likes to photograph himself naked, then send those pictures to girls in a bid to make them feel really horny?
Or was it because he cheated on his Cheryl Cole, and now she’s got Malaria?
An “onlooker” said this:
“He ignored the boos and walked straight into the church, but he didn’t look best pleased.”
In other news, those busy beavers at The Daily Mail have shed some light on the identity of the woman who may or may not have provided a vessel for the potent Cristiano Ronaldo seed.
Apparently, she’s a penniless LA waitress who Ronny charmed over a simple coffee top-up, before inviting her back to his hotel for a margarine thigh massage followed by the full leave-it-in shag.
A “friend” went on to say this:
“They are a traditional Roman Catholic family and the minute paternity was established there was absolutely no doubt that Ronni would be doing the right thing.”
The “right thing” in this case reportedly being to hand the waitress £10million to shut the hell up, before dumping the little bundle at mum’s house, and going off on holiday.
So there are the clues: waitress, LA, cup of coffee, full shag.
Nope, still could be just about any one of us.
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