Transfer Talk

Man City prepare preposterous bid for James Milner

Milner – playing old fashioned version of “frolf”

James Milner

As expected, showbusiness journalists are in a state of shock today, after pictures emerged of Cat Deeley ACTUALLY SMILING even though she hasn’t got a boyfriend anymore. Brave girl, that Cat Deeley. So very brave.

And quite boring.

Anyway, in other really important news, here’s what we know about transfers thanks to Communist papers like The Guardian, and the ones from the other end of that particular spectrum, like The Daily Mail:

The ongoing case of mistaken identity regarding James Milner and Manchester City is still in full swing. Decent player though he is, £30million? Really? 

Talking on the subject, Patrick Vieira clearly misheard the question, and assumed that someone had just asked him about Xavi:

“Of course it is not my place to say if he has to come or not but when you look at players we have around it will be good.”

That’s all from City for now, but just a small walk over some rolling fields above Gary Neville’s underground kingdom, and past a row of shops and you get to Man United, where business is really hotting up.

They’ve reportedly offered Nemanja Vidic enough money to send his complaining wife on holiday for at least six months/year, just so that he might consider NOT going to Real Madrid. That one’s in the balance.

And in two word news:

Sven, Fulham.

CHELSEA, Balotelli.

Honda, Milan.

That is all.

9 responses so far
  • JamRag // July 23, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    You forgot to mention that Christina Milan’s losing her baby weight, Shakira can lift her legs over her head and Superman had an affair with a gay pornstar…

    Cat Deeley?? FFS

    And in six word news:

    This. Site. Is. Not. Funny. Anymore.

  • JoshBurt // July 23, 2010 at 2:40 pm

    Thanks for the feedback, JamRag. To be honest, judging by the general route of your comments, I’m not sure that we share a sense of humour, no. Oh well.

  • Blue Moon Rising // July 23, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    Where do you thickos get your shit for brains. City have certainly not offered £30 million for Milner but hey ho you will make it up anyway. Priceless wanker that you are

  • JoshBurt's Brian Cell // July 23, 2010 at 3:06 pm

    Me Josh Burt
    Me Talk Shit
    UG UG
    Me Gary Neville’s Boyfriend
    Me The Bitch
    Me Pokey Bum Wank
    Enough Said

  • JoshBurt // July 23, 2010 at 3:11 pm

    Do you mean “Brain Cell”, JoshBurt’s Brian Cell?

    I have a sneaky feeling that you might have rather fittingly hamstrung yourself by accident there.

  • Culloden Crow // July 23, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    Ouch, hamstrung injuries can be serious.

  • JoshBurt's Brian Cell // July 23, 2010 at 3:38 pm

    Josh Burt
    Brain Cell Was too Good a word For You.
    Amoeba Springs to Mind.
    But Thanks for pointing out that you are a complete Twat who comments on critisism about his own articles.

  • JamRag // July 23, 2010 at 4:20 pm

    ^ bit harsh?

  • The gaffer's choice // July 24, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    Why is twat capitalized?

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