Transfer Talk

Both Mascherano and Kuyt linked with Inter move


Mascherano and Kuyt

If it’s high drama you’re after, you are probably looking through the wrong window – as is typical at this stage of the summer, much is being promised but nothing is happening.

Big Brother fans will know all about that. Why won’t John James just throw caution to the wind and get off with Josie? She’s hot, in a saucy milkmaid kind of way. He’s being an idiot.

Anyway, here are the transfer scraps from this morning, thanks to the likes of The Mirror, The Daily Mail, and The Guardian

In a real life recreation of either One Man and his Dog, or the movie Babe, puppy-like Javier Mascherano will be returning to his master, having essentially told Roy Hodgson to sod off. He wants to be with Rafa at Inter.

Rather fittingly, Dirk Kuyt is being linked with an Inter move as well. He, like Mascherano, has startling dog-like qualities, as a Golden Retriever to Mascherano’s Terrier.

Rafa has presumably been blowing on one of those ridiculous whistles that don’t seem to work.

Just up the road from Liverpool, past rolling fields full of sheep droppings, and over Gary Neville’s secret underground kingdom, you get to Manchester, where the James Milner saga has reached insulting proportions. 

They’ve offered Shaun Wright-Phillips as part of the deal. Fans of Star Wars figurines will agree, that’s like attempting to swap a Jawa for a Rancor Keeper. Exactly! No way man!

And in two word transfer news:

Mido, Ajax.

Spurs, Suarez.

Adebayor, Juventus.

That is all. 

10 responses so far
  • Depressed Reader // July 27, 2010 at 11:01 am

    I’m ashamed to admit that i do watch Big Brother, but am appauled by the reference to it on this article. The spoiler used to be a sacracent place for footy news, funny articles and the odd youtube clip.. I can’t deal with all this ok magazine stuff.. your ruining a great website

  • JoshBurt // July 27, 2010 at 11:49 am

    Thanks for the comment, Depressed Reader. Worry not, once the footballers get back from their holibobs, it’ll be business as usual. In the meantime, you say that you watch Big Brother – just what is going on with those two? Personally, I think he’s actually falling in love with her. Like, deep love.

  • JamRag // July 27, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    ^ you have got to be fucking kidding me… JoshBurt are you female? Or a homosexual? Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

  • Missy // July 27, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    Why is that women have no problem reading “male-oriented” content…but men become unglued if they read something that isn’t stamped “100% certified estrogen-free”?

    I happen to like The Spoiler–with or without the off-hours footy content. All of it makes me laugh–which I thought was the ultimate goal of this site.

  • JamRag // July 27, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    ^ There’s lots of things I like to read that have plenty of.. ahem… estrogen-related content…

    now haven’t you got some cleaning up to do or something?*

    *pls don’t get offended by that last comment it was simply a joke

  • TW@TFACE // July 27, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    not a very funny one.

  • JamRag // July 27, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    You’re right TW@TFACE it wasn’t very funny at all. Please accept my apology. Your chivalrous defence of womankind is duly noted.

  • Missy // July 27, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    Jam…I’m not offended. I’m just not laughing. Therefore…it’s not a joke.

    (And TW wasn’t defending womankind…just upholding the comedy standards around here.)

  • Mr. Chopper // July 27, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    I think you’re all cunts, but if any of you cunts wants to electronically diddle my skittle then I’d literally EXPLODE into your face with a million tiny pixels.

  • JamRag // July 27, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    ^ what comedy standards might they be then? Please enlighten me with your witty repartee and wry observations… Astound me with your acerbic banter and humorous anecdotes… weave me in a web of pun, leaving me bereft of speech, incapacitated by mirth at your sheer intelligence and side-splitting ability as a raconteur…

    Chop chop, love, I’m waiting…

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