Revolting Crime

Oh NO! Larissa Riquelme’s phone nicked by robbers!

Much happier times

Larissa Riquelme

World Cup 2010 will be remembered for three things – those bloody vuvuzelas, that appalling Jabulani football, and the luckiest mobile phone in the whole world.

Namely, the one that lived in between Larissa Riquelme’s large breasts.

Proving the pleasure/pain theory once and for all, reports suggest that after a few months pressed against some delightful bosoms, the phone is having a less decent time of things, having been snatched by a pair of aggressive street burglars, who accosted Larissa and her mates, whilst she holidayed in Rio.

Larissa twatted these words on Twitter:

“I’m fine.”

Yes, but what about the phone Larissa? Is THAT fine?

Here’s a set of sentimental photographs, entitled “Memories of a Lucky Cell Phone”:



(via our pals at Deadspin)

7 responses so far
  • JamRag // July 27, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    Epic Boobs Indeed. Could quite happily spend the rest of my days lowering my sperm count all over those wondrous mounds of flesh.

  • Missy // July 27, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    *hands Jam a disinfectant cloth for his screen* Now hurry up and finish your homework.

  • JamRag // July 27, 2010 at 6:35 pm

    Takes cloth. Wipes cock. Uses sperm soaked cloth to gag missy.

  • Missy // July 27, 2010 at 9:47 pm

    *sigh* As evidenced by your other posts…(assuming they really were written by you)…you’re obviously articulate …so why do you have to play the stereotypical misogynistic jerk? Why do you insist on trying to get yourself disqualified from the human race?

    Right now…I’m traumatized by the disappearance of Larissa’s Riquelme’s cell phone. So please…let’s all just focus on what’s important here. The recovery of Larissa’s cell phone.

  • Louie Louie Louie // July 27, 2010 at 10:04 pm

    In the words of an acient mexican wiseman:


  • JamRag // July 28, 2010 at 9:05 am

    ^ no actually, i have all my posts ghost-written for me especially by an intelligent Orangutan whom I communicate through the medium of primal scream therapy. He agrees that it is entirely possible to be both articulate and erudite as well as a stereotypical misogynistic jerk actually.

  • Red Spain // July 28, 2010 at 11:25 am

    “Following her rise to fame, and after Argentinian coach Diego Maradona promised to run naked through Buenos Aires if Argentina won the World Cup, Riquelme matched the offer and promised that she would run naked (wearing only body paint in the colors of Paraguay) through Asunción if Paraguay won the World Cup, or even if they reached the semi-finals by beating Spain. Paraguay eventually lost its match against Spain, but Riquelme announced that she would fulfill her promise anyway.”

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