Transfer Talk

Beckham to West Ham, Cheryl Cole’s feeling better…

Cheryl Tweedy/Cole – on the mend

Cheryl Cole

Everyone relax. Calm down. Stop panicking! Cheryl Cole, as it happens, is going to be just fine. Her bout of Malaria was frightening, but she’s up and about now, and she’s even been SMILING. She wouldn’t have been able to do that a few days ago.

No. She’d have been too busy dry puking, shouting at nurses to bring her more lemsip, and enduring detailed hallucinations of Ashley Cole on a plane to Real Madrid.

Anyway, speaking on transfer rumours, here’s what we know thanks to the likes of The Mirror, The Daily Mail, The Sun, and the rest…

After a couple of weeks of Manchester and Liverpool talk, the grapevine has repositioned itself in luxurious London, where people sometimes eat hoity toity things, like Sushi, or baguettes.

The big news is that Mark Hughes has finally rediscovered his rightful place as a mid-table manager, and shall now be guiding the hopes of Fulham.

Word has it that he’s going to attempt to lure Craig Bellamy out of his shell, and persuade him to brave the bright lights, but he might have to fight off Henry Redknapp and the promise of Champions League footie to land the sheepish winger/striker.

Just down the road, past Jermaine Jenas’ luxury cottage, past Movida, through the mobs of prostitutes and strippers in Soho, around a few corners, and up some roads and you get to West Ham, where the hysterical talk is of David Beckham finishing his football career with them, before moving seamlessly into talkshow hosting.

David Gold said this on the matter:

“We had some discussions with David’s agents a few months ago and it was a possibility.”

That’s in the bag then.

And in two word news:

Carvalho, Real.

Petrov, Liverpool.

James, Bristol.

That is all.

3 responses so far
  • Darren // July 29, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    Hearing rumours that Dirk Kuyt, the poor man’s Marlon Harewood, is demanding a move away from Anfield. Can anyone shed any light on this?

  • John // July 29, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    Sad that Kuyt wants out…I heard he might be off to Inter with Sheepdog, but always fun to watch him

  • Red Spain // July 29, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    Kuyt won’t move, with a “Dutch – Scouse” accent like he has got, no other team would be able to understand him. Not a chance, more chance of seeing Ferguson managing LFC.

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