Ancelotti puts the kibosh on Ashley Cole deal…
Ancelotti – won’t let go
Of course, the biggest news doing the rounds is that the Man United midfielder, Anderson, pulled off a stunt of David Blaine proportions by walking away unscathed from a burning car.
For his next trick, he will presumably spend an entire season sitting in a glass box suspended over Old Trafford, making Nescafe hand gestures at the likes of Darren Fletcher and Michael Carrick.
Here’s what else we know, thanks to the likes of The Daily Mail, the ooh-ah Daily Star, The Mirror, and the rest…
Over on the other side of Manchester – past a few chips in curry sauce shops, and over a section of countryside which looks quiet enough, but is actually the earthy roof of Gary Neville’s sinister underground bunker/family home – the ongoing Milner and Balotelli transfers are still raging.
So much so, that Gareth Barry has chucked his pennies into the mix, by urging Milner to stop dicking around and make his bloody mind up. He said this:
“My advice to him would be to try to get the situation sorted as quickly as possible.”
“Mentally, it is tough to deal with and it does mess with your brain.”
Meanwhile, down in sophisticated London, Carlo Ancelotti has delivered an almighty cock punch to Jose Mourinho, by insisting that Ashley Cole won’t be going anywhere, no matter how much the Real Madrid boss flirts with him over email. He said this on the matter:
“I’m not interested in the relationship my player has with other coaches.”
“It’s normal that Mourinho has a good relationship with Ashley Cole.”
“Nothing has changed in our position.”
“Everyone can forget that Ashley Cole will leave this club.”
And the rather shocking news from Spurs is that Henry Redknapp is reportedly shining up Peter Crouch’s bonnet, ready to flog the “tramp’s Ibrahimovic” for around £7million in a brown paper bag.
In other three-word transfer news:
Santa Cruz, Olympiakos?
Santa Cruz, Marseille?
Santa Cruz, Fenerbahce?