Lard Arses

Sol Campbell, and a team of “big boned” footballers

One of the “unflattering” pictures

Sol Campbell

In a stunning homage to the 17th century idiom about pots and kettles, the chubby men of Newcastle thought that they’d label Sol Campbell “fat belly” for a joke.

Only now, as is generally the way with sensitive Sol, it’s been taken in absolutely the wrong way, and he left a seething message for these perceived naysayers via an interview with the popular webiste, Soccernet:

“It’s pathetic.”

“I had been training for three days – just three days! I am three weeks behind everyone else in pre-season.”

“Don’t they know I have just got married and been on honeymoon?”

Of course, far be it for The Spoiler to suggest that a honeymoon might involve fat burning exercises. 

The defender went on:

“I accept that the picture wasn’t flattering, and I do need to catch up on my level of fitness, but the training kit was not very flattering, and showed up all sorts of things.”

Indeed. And with that in mind, here is a team made up of footballers who found a simple football kit equally unflattering. Feel free to name your own in the comments section.


Goalkeeper: Neville Southall

Defenders: Paul McGrath, Neil Ruddock, Sol Campbell

Midfield: Ronaldinho, Tomas Brolin, Jan Molby, Matt Le Tissier, Andy Reid

Forwards: Ronaldo, Micky Quinn

No do yours.

9 responses so far
  • Isaac // August 3, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    Wot no Gazza?

  • Daryl // August 3, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    Paddy Kenny

    Molby Huddlestone Ruddock

    Gazza Maradona,

    Lee Trundle Barnes

    Mido Vieri Viduka

  • randomsausage // August 3, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Wot no Windass?

  • Bokolis // August 3, 2010 at 5:46 pm

    Gazza for sure.

    And, Sol isn’t a good choice here because he wasn’t any good while carrying the weight.

  • Bokolis // August 3, 2010 at 5:51 pm

    BTW, who’s the lucky guy?

  • Ziggy // August 3, 2010 at 11:12 pm

    Ailton that played for Werder Bremen anyone? Goalscoring machine WHILE he was chubby! Like that was his shape… Then Maradona

  • shaz // August 6, 2010 at 11:27 am

    I’d put elokobi from wolves and stig tofting from denmark in there …

  • GP // August 6, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    Late in his career Platini looked a bit roundish…or maybe it was a dodgy TV that made him look wider.

  • Red Spain // August 16, 2010 at 9:12 am

    John Hartson gets a place on the subs bench at least for this team!

    But check this guy out –

    William Foulke

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