Transfer Talk

The Saturdays, Karim Benzema for Ashley Cole, and…

Blue Top, Almost Ginger, Blondie, Tall One, and Frankie…

The Saturdays 

Just in case you were wondering, Frankie from The Saturdays is definitely not going out with Ashley Cole. Yes, they sometimes hang out at the same cool bars, like China Whites or Movida, but she’s totally in love with Dougie from McFly.

There. It just needed to be said. Now everyone can move on. Frankie, by the way, is the Posh Spice looking one in the above picture. Look but don’t touch, Ashley Cole. She’s with Dougie now. Back off.

Anyway, here’s what we know about transfers this morning, thanks to Communist newpapers like The Guardian, and Anarcho-capitalist ones like The Mail

Frankie from The Saturdays and Ashley Cole may yet be moving in different VIP circles anyway, with reports flying around that Real Madrid have not given up hope of obtaining the Ashley Cole signature (which presumably somehow incorporates the use of his penis).

The word on the street is that Mourinho is happy to throw Karim Benzema into the mix as a sweetener, and with rumours abound suggesting that Chelsea have an eye on Fabio Coentrao, A.Cole may yet find himself making up the numbers in Cristiano Ronaldo’s midweek sex entourage.

Meanwhile, a few miles up the road in Liverpool - boycotting Wales, through Birmingham, past Gabby Agbonlahor’s delux cottage – Roy Hodgson is busily creating an Anfield blueprint based on Chelsea 2005, with rumoured bids for Wayne Bridge and SWP in the pipeline.

Hernan Crespo would be wise to stay near to a phone.

And in two-word news:

Mexes, Arsenal.

Huntelaar, Villa.

That is all.

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