Mr Gobby

10 Textbook Craig Bellamy Moments

Bellamy – Shy? No. Retiring? Perhaps.

Craig Bellamy 

It would probably be rather unfair to Marmite to draw a comparison with Craig Bellamy – he’s more like football’s Sting, absolutely adored by a few, considered to be at the very height of revolting by many.

And yet, in light of this ridiculous talk of retirement, The Spoiler thought it high time to honour the gobby Welshman by remembering some of the good/bad times… 

Bellamy wades into the JT sex scandal

With Wayne Bridge choosing to maintain a broken man’s silence over the JT/Perroncel debacle, it was left to Bellamy to deal with the whole thing head on. As usual, there was absolutely no need to get involved, but well said anyway.  

Bellamy rubs Alan Shearer up – in a bad way

Alan Shearer and Craig Bellamy

It was never quite cleared up whether it was actually Bellamy who sent abusive text messages to Alan Shearer in 2005, or an opportunist/prankster. Either way, Shearer – usually so calm, so monotone, so drearily stating the obvious – said this when talk turned to re-signing Craig for Newcastle in 2007.

“Has no one learned their lesson about signing him?”

“If only Rafa Benitez had rung me, I would’ve told him exactly what he was like.”

The infamous golf club debacle

In a terrifying case of karaoke-turns-nasty, Craig Bellamy found himself swinging haphazardly at John Arne Riise’s legs with a golf club in the early hours of the morning. A few days later he decided to send the whole hilarious mess up after scoring a goal against Barcelona.

Bellamy’s falling out with Souness goes public

Souness and Bellamy

Rather unsurprisingly, Bellamy and Souness were not great pals. One what old northern women might call a “gobshite”, the other proving to be so dour and miserable that The Spoiler was once moved to write a list of things that are More Miserable than Graeme Souness. Things got publicly out of hand, to the point where Bellamy uttered these priceless words:

“Graeme Souness has just gone behind my back in front of my face.”

Arf! That’s impossible, Craig!

Bellamy slaps a fan

Fans know the risks when they run onto the pitch – you’ve got all kinds of cops and stewards to contend with. Plus, in some cases, Craig Bellamy might find the urge to slowly wander over and twat you in the face just too hard to resist. As is what happened above.

Two great goals against United

It’s easy to forget that Craig Bellamy is not just a persistent goader and chider, he also happens to be a wonderful footballer. In the above clip you’ll find two goals from the same match against Man United, both of which could be described as ”rather delicious”.

Mark Clattenburg has enough

Bellamy and Clattenburg

Like an toddler repeatedly saying “why?” over and over again to the point where you either lose your mind, disown the child, or break down the reason for why things happen to such an extent that you actually discover the meaning of life, Craig Bellamy can be rather annoying.

Mark Clattenburg had such a hard time getting used to his constant chatter that he casually enquired of some Man City staff:

“How do you work with Craig Bellamy all week?”

Before sending him off in the second half for no apparent reason – “diving”.

Craig upsets the Italians

Of course, the Italians aren’t exactly reknowned for their calm approach to competitive football matches. Even so, Bellamy achieved something quite remarkable when he managed to enrage Buffon by seemingly doing nothing. That said, just being Craig Bellamy normally does it.

Bellamy’s moody post match interview translated

Unlike the majority of footballers, Craig Bellamy’s post-match interviews are always worth watching. Even when he’s pretty much refusing to speak.

Bellamy airs some more dirty laudry

Bellamy and Mancini

This from today’s Sun:

“I haven’t spoken to the manager since February.”

“There are a number of players, like Carlos Tevez and me, who he doesn’t speak to and keeps us away.”

“I’m not sure if it’s personal. Maybe it’s the way he deals with things and it’s his manner.”

“But I’ve got a fair indication of what they all think, though, as I’ve had 80 minutes in pre-season.”

“I’ve even seen players not part of the club over the last three years get more minutes than me.”

Ahh, Craig Bellamy. You’ll miss him when he’s gone, you know.

Feel free to share your favourite Bellamy moments in the comments section.


3 responses so far
  • MwepuLlunga // August 11, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    You get the feeling the best is yet to come including hopefully a scathing and abusive rant at the John ‘gobshite’ Toshack when he finally does a Giggs and realises Wales aren’t worth bothering with.

  • Wilberto // August 11, 2010 at 3:30 pm

    He may be a bit of a bell-end, but at least he’s a character of the game none the less. All these PR merchants like Gerrard and Beckham and Lampard are always afraid to speak their minds for fear of losing out on some kind of deal.

    People like Bellamy, Savage, Barton etc are true characters of the game and keep us entertained.

  • carol // August 11, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    I can’t believe you’re comparing short-fused-but-generally-good-hearted Bellamy with piece of dung Barton.

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