Man City money splurge, and bad news for Aaron Lennon
The billionaire’s Crouch
Those looking to have their minds completely blown would be wise to click here, and take on a spooky internet genie, who seems able to infiltrate your actual thoughts. So long as you’re thinking about a movie character.
And in other important news, here’s what we know about transfers, thanks to the likes of The Sun, The Guardian, and The Daily Mail…
After a week of sitting in a controlled silence to calm themselves down, the robed men of Man City have finally cracked, and reportedly screamed something down the phone about giving Ibrahimovic £500,000/week.
That kind of money would make the rich man’s Peter Crouch by far and away the wealthiest footballer in Europe. Even more wealthy than Lionel Messi or Gary Neville.
In other bonkers Man City news, apparently the ink is still wet, but Balotelli has finally supplied them with his thumb print. Whilst James Milner is still unsure when exactly to start packing.
Down in London – where basically everyone drinks cappuccinos – the soft sounds of manchild weeping can be heard coming from Aaron Lennon’s luxury bungalow (he don’t do stairs!), with whispers suggesting that both Craig Bellamy and Ashley Young have been penciled in to Henry Redknapp’s Premier League Dream Team.
Word has it that Spurs have put aside around £25million for the pair.
In seven word news:
Bob Bradley quits USA, cue Aston Villa.
And two word:
That is all.