MY SPOT KICK HELL

Who took the most rubbish penalty of the weekend?

Featuring damp squibs, space rockets and unnecessary shuffling

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Hi!

Good things came in multiples in the Premier League this weekend, with three 6-0 thumpings, two hat-tricks and two wonder-strikes adding sparkle to what has been a rather exciting start to the season.

However, so did some desperately crap things – chiefly three really bad penalties. Which was the worst?

Carlton Cole vs Bolton (2:00 in)

Limp, anti-climactic, slightly too smart for its own good – a spot kick Made In England. I hope Carlton doesn’t have penalty tips on that iPhone app.

Carew vs Newcastle

Carew’s knowledge of penalty taking starts and ends with ‘lash it’ and ‘lash it slightly harder’, thereby setting big men with technique back another 50 years.

Nani vs Fulham

Right, can this officially bring an end to the stutter-step penalty? PLEASE?

P.S.

Apropos of nothing, The Spoiler made another (late) observation over the weekend. Andy Carroll, we’re not calling your mum a tart or anything…

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… you might want to start asking some serious questions.


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