Peter Crouch’s friend Monica Mint is more ‘regional airport’ than ‘town bike’
Most of Real Madrid (and their brother-in-laws) have had a go
As part of a ‘comprehensive six-page report’ on women who sleep with footballers (really), Spanish bongo rag Interviu has had a sit down chat with Peter Crouch‘s biggest regret, 19-year-old fanny saleswoman Monica Mint.
You’ll be delighted to hear Ms. Mint lets rip on all the gory details of football players she’s let rip inside her; and, unfortunately for the Real Madrid squad, they don’t get off lightly.
Says Monica:
The Real Madrid players are a bunch of arrogant divas who think we all want to go to bed with them…. with them I just want to get the money and get out of there quickly because they are so full of themselves.
Actually, we think you’ll find it’s you who is usually full of them, dear. She continues:
Whether ugly or good looking, they all think they are god’s gift but with them there’s no feeling. They’ve never taken care of me properly.
Although he’s not good looking, [Peter Crouch] was very friendly and was gentle with me the whole time. In spite of the langauage barrier he was very intimate and touched me nicely.
“LOL.” Reassuring those members of her immediate family who might be slightly going off of her, the 1,000 Euro-a-night escort adds:
I devote myself to [hawking poon] only sporadically and with people I think convenient
Before relating a charming little anecdote:
The brother in law of a Real Madrid star agreed a price with me and two other girls. Then the player turned up with a mate and they wanted to join in for the same price.
Wonderful. You stay classy, Monica!
Peter. Tottenham Sexual Health Clinic. 020 8442 6536. Get on it.
7 responses so far
david // August 24, 2010 at 4:49 pm
“the langauage barrier”? ha! I would have loved to be a fly on the wall for that transaction.
Louie Louie Louie // August 24, 2010 at 5:09 pm
With “language barrier” does she mean She speaks english and Peter Crouch is actually C3PO in disguise and all he did was chirp electronic sounds?
Chris // August 24, 2010 at 9:24 pm
I’d love to hear some of the sick shit Mahamadou Diarra has done with her.
randomsausage // August 24, 2010 at 11:55 pm
Peter Crouch love you long time!
kathmcp // August 25, 2010 at 8:29 am
Well at least she is honest, and not pretending she’s in it for anything other than the money. Unlike half the WAGs around. Oooops, did I say “half”?
John Swaine // August 25, 2010 at 9:22 am
“Crouchy’s Having his nachos!”
Ugh!
Jim // August 26, 2010 at 7:48 pm
“Chris // Aug 24, 2010 at 9:24 pm
I’d love to hear some of the sick shit Mahamadou Diarra has done with her.”
I need to hear this too, probably some fucked up mother africa shit. He probably even wore that Mali sweatband he always wears.
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