WHAT HAS BECOME OF YOU, FOOTBALL?

21-year-old MTV reality show star closing in on Portsmouth takeover deal

‘Living on the Edge’ cast member fronting £16.2m offer

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We shit you not – a student and former MTV reality show participant with no traceable business history is in negotiations to complete a £16.2m deal to takeover Portsmouth.

21-year-old Tom Lever, star of postmodern ‘is this real or what?’ teen drama Living on the Edge, has been given until next Thursday to finalise funding.

Words fail us.

According to the Independent, Lever has been in contact with current Pompey owner Balram Chainrai over plans to launch a leveraged takeover bid, ‘borrowing money against the club’s primary asset, Fratton Park’. He is not putting any of his own money into the deal, and has declined to name his lenders. Sigh.

Tom claims to have a major interest in Paint, a ‘lifestyle services’ company which offers wealthy types upscale conveniences like the chance to ‘sit next to Pele at a sportsman’s dinner’ (maybe he could get him to turn out at Fratton Park?) and ‘visit the set of Coronation Street’.

Says Master Lever:

The financing deal will be in the best interest of the club. It will be a loan at a very competitive rate that the club can afford. I am not going to talk about my personal wealth or what I might put in, but I have been able to put this financing together because of who I know and what I know.

And what does Tom know? Well, according to his profile on the MTV website, “it’s all about Prison Break series 3.”

The Spoiler is off to lie in a darkened room.


2 responses so far
  • Mr Lawes // September 2, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    If this deal happens I am going to do something equally as ridiculous, like fill my cat up with bread through his ears. I am a Pompey fan and everything that has gone on in the last 3 years has made me go a bit funny in the heeed….I think my house is filling up with ants and empty bottles of yop.

  • Steve C // September 2, 2010 at 11:06 pm

    as a pompey fan of 30+ years I’d just like to point out to Mr Lever that, that sort of borrowing is why we’re in this god awful mess now. If you take over I will seriously consider hanging up my scarf, I can not go through that again.

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