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Spoiler readers, is Big Sam a porpoise? Thoughts please…

Big Sam? Is that you?


Those of you either too busy or too uninterested to visit The Spoiler yesterday, you missed out on a thrilling piece entitled “10 Footballers who wouldn’t visit prostitutes” – a wild presumptive ride chronicling the kind of men who would be reluctant to throw money at women on the game in return for steamy post-watershed sex action.

Rather interestingly, the below comment (after the jump) was posted by Spoiler reader Myo Aung, and whilst it seems to have short-circuited any Google translation systems, it remains a truly gripping read nonetheless.

If you can make head or tail of it, please let us know with an informative plot thinning comment…

Lomana Lua Lua – too religious that he will recite the song of Psalm if thrown near a prostitute.

David James: He is a goal keeper for decades and will not tolerate his ball slip into the net.

Van Der Sar: He is a giraffe who hate glancing over to the other fence where chicken are chirping for food.

Shaun Wrigth Phillips: He have a size of his body in his ball and could not trigger against wall of brick where bigger ones have pounded many times a day. He knows he will not fit in…

Berbatov : He will bull gay rip apart.

Ronaldo : The fat Ronaldo bumped into gay gang and he knows well about that.

Ryan Giggs: He have only left-ball to play with and that is only for his wife.

Big Sam is a porpoise.

Who is Wigan captain anyway? That captain is an evangelist who preach not prick

8 responses so far
  • Miko_Gooner // September 14, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    I can try to explain porpoise, as it possibly comes from my blog in Polish, although I have no idea how it’s been transferred to English in this way :)

    I have always called Big Sam “Porpoise Allardyce” on my blog, mostly in comments (you can google it up, in Polish it’s Morświn Allardyce) because:
    a) morświn sounds funny in Polish
    b) the exact meaning of morświn is “sea pig”

    My wife has always used this word to describe someone fat, ugly and disgusting, so I just used her pun for obvious reasons.

  • mike // September 14, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    Makes no sense. Other than Big Sam being a porpoise. With his moustache, we was obviously a walrus, so good to see him working his way around ocean-going mammals

    I’d like a add Stan Colleymore. Why pay for lady action, when you can just shuffle up to car windows and flick your gizz through the gap in the window? Good work Stan

  • Kylie // September 14, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    What does “bull gay rip apart” mean?

  • JoshBurt // September 14, 2010 at 5:21 pm


  • Sofie // September 15, 2010 at 2:45 am

    I’ve read the SWP one about 7 times and I still have no idea what it means..

  • Fat Nakago // September 15, 2010 at 2:54 am

    The Berbatov comment is QUITE spot on ((is that how it’s said in England?)) It made PLENTY of sense!! I could SEE Berbatov actually DOING that one time there now, and so? ((as we would say here in Wisconsin))

    Now I thought, at first, the picture used to illuminate this post was a piece of jewelery Rooney bought to placate his wife. But upon further examination, if it WAS, then Rooney would have to be MORE of a prize#12 ass-clown than he already is. Whatever Kobe Bryant spent on a ring for HIS wife, Rooney should perhaps double the investment. As as aside, I honest thought the Rooney/Whore deal was probably because he’s AFRAID to fock his pregnant wife…lots of guys are, to be honest. But Wayne, my man, the baby won’t bite Little Wayne off…just spoon up to Coleen and go at it. Jeez!! Life shouldn’t be THAT focking complicated…

    Myo Aung forgot one, though:

    Joey Barton: If when he drops for the soap. Too clean, yes?

    Ponder THAT one time, there now!

  • Coolface // September 15, 2010 at 11:26 am

    Park Ji Sung – Is already man of greatnesss, woman is pay him for love make!!!!!! Advertizing also good.

  • AR // September 15, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    Myo Aung sounds like a name of a guy from Myanmar. You should get someone from there to translate that to burmese then see if it makes any sense. I’m not from there, don’t know the language

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