Road to Redemption

Oh great, now Wazza’s got to apologise to Coleen’s parents

“I don’t want to!”

Wayne Rooney

When Wayne Rooney was in the throws of passionate grunting with a couple of cackling hookers, he probably didn’t envisage that a few weeks down the line he’d be staring at the floor mumbling an awkward apology to Coleen’s MUM.

But, as reported in today’s Sun, that’s exactly what’s in store for the naughty boy.

Coleen has decreed that to completely win her back, Wayne will be required to pay his livid inlaws a visit to say sorry for paying for sex with hookers when, frankly, he can get it with their daughter for free whenever he likes.

In the words of “a friend”:

“He would have preferred to have phoned them first but Coleen insists it has to be in person.”

Man, when did a quick threesome with a couple of prozzies become so damn COMPLICATED?

5 responses so far
  • Anthony W // September 17, 2010 at 5:11 am

    Rooney: I’m sorry

    Coleen’s parnet’s: Sorry for what?

    Rooney: You know…

    Coleen’s parents: No, we don’t “know”…

    Rooney: Really? Your going to make me go into detail?

    Coleen: Go on…tell them.

    Rooney: Uhh….

  • Anthony W // September 17, 2010 at 5:13 am

    Whoops, meant to say “parents” no “parnets”

  • Anthony W // September 17, 2010 at 5:29 am

    I heard that EA is adding a new feature to their soccer videogame called “Be a wag”. You use the game’s create a player engine to create a wag instead. You then decide which player she hooks up with and you make other decisions as well.

    You decide how many kids to have and which mansion to buy. How to best manage your pseudo fame. You decide how much cheating your wag will tolerate. You also get to pick which tabloid will get your exclusive and when to pretend that your going to get a divorce.

  • Big Al Whittle // September 23, 2010 at 9:22 am

    I’ve written a new Wayne Rooney song.
    Its here

    hope you like it

  • 10 important lessons to take from football sex scandals | The Spoiler // January 12, 2012 at 7:26 pm

    [...] out, it won’t be just your humiliated life partner demanding apologies – This one has been well-covered already today. To add insult to injury, Rooney now has to apologise to Coleen’s family. Hasn’t he [...]

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