The Spoiler’s ‘Top Tekkers’ Premier League XI
A list of the league’s finest purveyors of silk(y skills)
Everyone likes a cheeky flick, an acrobatic finish or a laser-guided pass, none more so than Spoiler reader Daryl Noble, who has gone to the effort of compiling a list of the eleven greatest fleet-footed wizards in the country.
Take it away, Daryl…
Right, seeing as we clearly have a dearth of home-grown talent when it comes to retaining the round bouncy thing that occasionally gets in the way of a good ol’ slide tackle, let’s cheat and see what kind of ‘Tekkers XI’ we can generate from across our nation’s wonderful top-flight…
Pepe Reina: Sublime distribution, especially with his feet. What else would you expect from a Spaniard?
Ryan Taylor: Yes, the one that can’t get into the Newcastle team. I suggest you search some of his YouTube free-kicks.
Leighton Baines: Another dead ball…. actually, I hate the overuse of the term ‘dead ball specialist’. Another good free-kick taker and has a better all-round game than Taylor.
Thomas Vermaelen: Close call between Vermaelen and Agger, but Vermaelen gets the nod on the basis that he’s first choice at his club.
Rio Ferdinand (C): He started off as a centre midfielder, dontcha know. Much maligned for his casual style, nobody can really argue Rio’s ability ON the ball.
Tom Huddlestone: Reminds me of a MASSIVE Rolls Royce on a narrow one way road. Hums beautifully [oo-er! - Ed.] but distinctly lacking in the mobility department.
Cesc Fabregas: Shouldn’t really be on this list as he is essentially on loan from the Spanish league, but ah well.
Paul Scholes: Getting on a bit, but can still ping it about better than any Blackberry on the market (sorry.)
Gareth Bale: If Shunsuke Nakamura had a child with Dirk Kuyt, their offspring wouldn’t be far off Mr Bale (maybe throw a chimp into that equation.)
Mikel Arteta: Does it matter that he wasn’t born in England? Was Hargreaves? Was Owen? All he needs is a Bic trim and to drop that silly ‘Mikel’ thing. Your names Michael mate.
Dimitar Berbatov: First touch is so ridiculous it seems he doesn’t really care about a 2nd or 3rd
Van Persie: If he ever actually played a full season he might win a sport ahead of Berba
Gudjohnsen: He went to Barca as a striker and ended up playing in midfield. For Barca.
Van der Vaart: Thrust himself onto the list just ahead of Raul Meireles due to his wonderful start to the season. Flash in the pan? We will see.
Wilshere: Won’t say anything, as I don’t want to jinx England next … almost
Agger: Behind Gerrard, who would Liverpool fans most like to see latching onto a moving ball from 30 yards out?
Agree/disagree? Drop your picks below…