What do you need to say to get Cheryl Cole into bed?
(pic now works as a ghostly representation of the Coles’ marriage)
According to Cheryl herself, as told to omnipresent toff twat Piers Morgan, the only line Ashley needed was:
hey hotlips, nice bum
By God, they were a classy pair.
Here’s a bonus blind item from Mirror Football‘s excellent 3pm column:
Which Midlands striker’s affair with a pop starlet was scuppered when she invited him to visit her in Chicago during the summer but his lack of a Geography GCSE meant he booked tickets to the wrong country?
[via Mirror Football]