R.I.P. PAUL 2008 - 2010

Consipracy theories cloud Paul the Psychic Octopus’ death

This is Japan’s tribute to Paul. Srsly.

paultribute.jpg

While the world mourns for England’s Rose, Paul the Psychic Octopus, a Chinese film director yesterday claimed the real Paul died THREE MONTHS ago and had actually since been replaced by a Decoy Octopus.

Jiang Xao, director of taut suspense-thriller Who Killed Paul the Octopus? has told the Guardian (who have three reporters working on this story) that she was 60-70% sure Paul had been merk’d in July, two days before the World Cup final:

Explaining how such a deception could have been perpetrated, she added: “[Octopuses] all look the same. It is impossible to tell the difference.”

Jiang said she thought it was “kind of strange” that news of Paul’s death had broken not long after the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre in western Germany had contacted her team to say they were keen to co-operate on the international distribution of her film.

“We have been keeping in touch with the German aquarium ever since the beginning [of production] but it seemed to me that they were afraid,” she said. “The movie is about unveiling the inside story behind the octopus miracle, so they felt nervous.

Unsurprisingly Paul’s carers at the Oberhausen Sea Life centre quickly poo-pooed any allegations of subterfuge. A spokeswoman said:

It’s certainly not true that Paul died in the summer,” said a spokeswoman for the aquarium.”We can absolutely assure you that he died last night. He was about two and a half, which is the average age for an octopus. He died a simple and straightforward death.

Yeah, right. We want the truth, lady. Justice for Paul! Fake Paul is to be cremated in a couple of days and “placed in an urn and displayed in a shrine, along with a portrait and video clips from his life.” The Spoiler actually laughed out loud at that bit.

We’ve already set up a condolence book where people can write their tributes to Paul.

For those that may have missed them, these were the emotional scenes outside the Sea Life centre last night…


5 responses so far
  • Solid Snake // October 27, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    Decoy Octopus is Dead??? That must be the work of the patriots using fox die!! Someone has to stop them and Ocelot otherwise the activation of Metal Gear will kill us all!!

    Metal Gear! Liquuuiiiid!!!

  • Sophie Stepover // October 27, 2010 at 7:07 pm

    1. Let us have a moment of silence for the Almighty Paul–King of the Octopi.

    2. Could someone please translate Solid Snake’s post above?

  • Fat Nakago // October 27, 2010 at 11:25 pm

    That settles it then. I’m simply going to HAVE to start watching Shinryaku Ika Musume at once!

  • Col. Roy Campbell // October 28, 2010 at 1:50 am

    SNAKE!? SNAKE!? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!

    Time Paradox!

    Anyway, AWESOME Metal Gear Reference. The Spoiler has went way up on my respect-o-meter.

    Sophie, “Decoy Octopus” is the name of a villain in a game called Metal Gear Solid. Solid Snake is the protagonist and I’m his commanding officer.

  • Phil // October 28, 2010 at 10:52 am

    I, personally, am still none the wiser…

    Confusion reigns!!

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