Sensitive Neymar flounces off in disgust as Santos give Ze Eduardo birthday beats
Oh, the humanity!
‘Birthday beats‘, the annual rites of passage hazing, has steadily evolved over the years. Originally beginning as a good-natured ‘pinch, punch, first of the month’-style joshing, decades of testosterone-fueled schoolkids have added new dimensions to the ritual, and today it stands as a 8-hour gang-stomping, tie-peanuting physical and mental assault.
Jinking Santos forward Neymar obviously never experienced such hardship growing up as a lad in Sao Paulo, because he ever so slightly overreacted to his Santos teammates giving 23-year-old forward Ze Eduardo a birthday slap last Friday.
As a close-to-tears Ze Eduardo was tied up and given the old flour n’ eggs treatment (above) horrified Neymar rushed to his aid, gently dabbing his face with a towel and being all mumsy about the situation (below), before launching into a tear-up with chief agitator Marcel.
The pair were quickly separated and 18-year-old Neymar was left to flounce back to the changing rooms in disgust and mull over what might await him on his birthday in February.
Perhaps it’s a good thing his Chelsea transfer fell through – Neymar clearly isn’t ready for the ‘shit in your shoes‘ hijinks of English football just yet.