Barcelona want Micah Richards… yes, seriously
Micah – dream move?
There’s been total uproar in showbusiness world, with news that Wagner – the South American Mickey Rourke who sings like a man on a treadmill reading from an autocue – isn’t only surviving the X Factor, but he’s looking like a genuine threat to win the bloody thing. Gamblers, it might be worth a few quid. People have literally been choking on Caffe Latte over this.
Elsewhere in the world, here’s what we know about football, thanks to the hardworking sport’s Communists at The Guardian, the sneery Daily Mail Monarchists, and the sexy topless big breasted women at The Sun…
After threatening to completely silence the critics with some dreamy football, everyone seems convinced that Dimitar Berbatov’s Lazarus impression has actually morphed into an Icarus one midway through – much like something from one of those creepy plot-U-turning David Lynch films.
Yesterday he was off to sunny Madrid – swapping his Manchester staple of chips in curry sauce for numerous tiny plates, none of which could possibly constitute an entire meal on their own. Today talk has turned to the pizza or pasta main course conundrum. He’s been linked with Juventus.
Plus, in a bid to issue a pair of devestating blows to Manchester United underpants, Juve are going to attempt to lure Macheda back to Italy while they’re at it.
Just across the way – past a house that Phil Neville forgot that he had bought, not to mention a few of Alex Gerrard’s hot new fashion boutiques – you get to Man City, where men in robes have been sharing a joke about Micah Richards joining Barcelona.
Only it’s not a joke.
It’s totally serious.
And in two word news:
That is all.