Roll up, roll up! Get your cheap Ronaldinhos here!
One appalled Spoiler reader wasn’t keen on the Ashley Cole story below, insisting that The Spoiler should perhaps stick to making hilarious comments about Rafa Benitez in future. Sadly for “Livid from The Internet”, The Spoiler isn’t a fan of taking a pop at easy targets, so shall leave Senor Benitez well alone, and allow the man who looks precisely like Buster from Arrested Development to continue getting high on Baileys in his Southport bungalow in a bid to put his rubbish Italian holiday behind him.
In the meantime, here’s what we know about transfers, thanks to the likes of The Mirror, The Mail blah blah blah…
The Cesc Fabregas soap opera has attracted a new villain in the shape of Jose Mourinho, who is rumoured to be creepily rubbing his fingertips together and cackling at the thought of putting one over Barcelona by snaffling their prodigal son with a planned bid of around £35million in the summer.
This will come as a terrible cock punch to Barcelona, who have made a really big deal of saving a number 4 shirt for him.
In Premier League import news, word has it that Ronaldinho has been tagged with a January Sale price of £7million in a bid to attract bargain hunters from Manchester and London. This one looks to be a straight up head-to-head between City’s robed gentlemen and Chelsea’s bearded Russian.
Rafa’s former employers, Inter Milan, have expressed a strong urge to save Fernando Torres from his escalating Liverpool nightmare.
And in three word news:
Lukaku, Man United.
Daniel Sturridge, Liverpool.
Ashley Young, Liverpool.
Bendtner, staying put.
That is all.