Transfer Talk

Liverpool’s 2011 transfer wish list, and Blackburn hilarity!

Those still curious about what life entails for The Spoiler when not writing very liberally around the subject of football, yesterday afternoon was spent hemorrhaging money on afternoon tea in the swishy London hotel Claridges – a rare treat, so rare that it had never happened before. How posh we all felt, eating little crustless sandwiches, masking our trembling dirty fingernailed hands from the upper echelons.

And then Peter Andre turned up with a thick-knot footballer’s tie like a reverse homage to the time the Queen Mum pulled a pint in an East End boozer, and everyone immediately began to feel a bit chavvy.

Bloody hell, Andre…. anyway, here’s today’s hottest transfer stories from the likes of The Daily Mail, The Sun, The Guardian, and whatever Andre reads (he looks like an Express man)…

In a 2011 recreation of the time Brazil’s famous Greek philosopher/doctor/footballer Socrates decided to dust down his boots and play for Garforth Town, Blackburn Rovers have been dangling carrots in front of Ronaldinho. Sadly for them, he’s used to that cruel trick, and would rather take his sultry equine looks home to Brazil.

Liverpool’s New Year Wish List has been unearthed, and apparently has the names Eljero Elia and Luis Suarez smudged in ink by Roy Hodgson’s tears. The disturbing news is that Spurs also fancy a pop at landing Suarez, which could mark the straw that breaks Roy’s back.

Newcastle continue their quest to assemble the best of other people’s benches after being linked with (in absolutely no order): Robbie Keane, Wayne Bridge, and David Bentley.

And in two word news:

Agger, Juve.

That is all.

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