Transfer Talk

You can all sod off, says Cheryl Cole… plus transfer news

Cheryl Cole and… Cheryl Cole?

Cheryl Cole 

As she should after such a rotten year getting battered down in the limelight, Cheryl Cole has proven that she’s not taking it any more, by publicly declaring in a magazine that, you know what, she “couldn’t give a shit” what people think of her… so long as they like her music.

Needless to say, The Spoiler – a big fan of strong independent women, but totally uninitiated into the Cheryl Cole sound - doesn’t quite know how to feel about this.

Either way, here’s what we know about transfers, thanks to the likes of The Mirror, The Sun, The Guardian and the rest…

The Liverpool wants list seems to be in a state of constant regeneration, like a worm that’s been halved by the dangerous end of a spade, with ever more names added by the hour. At last count, Adebayor and Keisuke Honda had both appeared, alongside what we presume is a joke – Ricky van Wolfswinkel. Yeah, nice one, guys! He could play up front with Casper von Hamsterfanny!

Very funny.

The chicken manufacturers at Blackburn are keen to bring back some old favourites to the winter menu, with Damien Duff and Roque Santa Cruz rumoured to be resurfacing like a classic kiev and scampi in a basket. They’re still hoping to add Ronaldinho to the specials list.

And Spurs are rumoured to be looking very seriously at Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, who is supposed to be Theo Walcott, only better. Hang on, haven’t they already got Aaron Lennon?

That is all.

2 responses so far
  • Casper von Hamsterfanny // January 5, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    Please be advised that I will never be playing for Liverpool. I refuse to share the pitch with someone named Dirk Kuyt. What kind of name is that anyway?

  • khom // January 18, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    ROFL @ Hamsterfanny. too good. x-D

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