Sol Campbell back to Arsenal, and more…
NOT Sol Campbell
What with Theo Walcott’s admission of diving frying our minds, and that photo of a fully-grown man’s thigh adorned with a tattoo of Justin Bieber’s face frying our retinas, we didn’t know where to begin looking for transfer news.
Thankfully, the ladies and gents at the Telegraph, the Lords and Ladies of the Daily Mail, and the geezers and stunnas at the Sun have guided us gently down the right path…
First though, the Daily Express reckons that Sol Campbell could be heading back to Arsenal as, apparently, the portly near-pensioner has had enough of warming the bench at Newcastle.
The Express have taken that bit of gossip and – what with Arsene Wenger looking for defensive reinforcements – put two and two together to come up with a number so big it would literally break the internet.
They also want to GET BRITAIN OUT OF THE EU!
Kenny Miller – who has scored so many goals for Rangers this season he’s literally broken the SPL – could also be heading south. According to the Daily Mirror, Birmingham boss Alex McLeish is chasing the player, who has scored 22 goals already this term.
However, everyone’s second favourite red-haired Scottish manager has a fight on his hands. According to ‘Scotland’s top-selling evening newspaper’, the Glasgow Evening Times, Miller could be off to Serie A side Fiorentina for a January sale bargain basement price of just £330,000 or – if you prefer – two weeks’ worth of Wayne Rooney, but why would you?
A season of sitting on the bench and scoring three goals in Italy before regretfully returning to Ibrox mumbling something about not liking pasta could certainly be on the cards.
Finally, The Daily Mail reckons Newcastle’s Cockney mafia could be about to get another member as Gerard Houllier offers Nigel Reo-Coker in part-exchange for the cuddly Joey Barton.
It won’t happen though, will it?