The Beckhams are having a baby girl… or boy!

Wills and Kate – upstaged


Everyone’s poor, the sun is about to explode and you can’t leave your house without walking into a scene from a low-budget zombie movie as formerly docile, incense sniffing students go on a mental rampage because of Nick Bloody Clegg.

But amongst the burning embers of our formerly perfect world there is hope. A hope for a better future for us all – the Beckhams are having ANOTHER baby!

It’s going to be brilliant. Play dates with Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John will already have been pencilled in and Suri Cruise will have a little friend to play dress-up with – just imagine!

On the other hand it does mean politely laughing for the next few months as the wags amongst us suggest the little bundle of joy should be called ‘Peckham Beckham’, because, like, it could have been conceived in South London, innit?

But will Victoria be spending the next five years pulling worms and yo-yos out of a little pocket or will she finally get to buy that pair of ‘My First Christian Louboutin’s’ she’s been enviously eying for the past decade?

For what it’s worth, The Spoiler reckons it’s going to be a… (tosses coin)… ANOTHER BOY!

Oh, and Becksie isn’t going to Spurs anymore – except he might be.

Harry Redknapp had this to say:

“It’s 99 per cent that he won’t be joining us.”

Before later adding:

“It’s being done above my head. Hopefully, it could still happen. The situation is ongoing.”

For what it’s worth, The Spoiler reckons he’s… (tosses coin)… NOT GOING TO PLAY FOR SPURS!

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