Oh, i say

Literally a list of Footballers with posh-sounding names

We honestly couldn’t tell you…


After reading about Liverpool’s pursuit of Southampton’s Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain in the wants-to-be-posh-but-is-distinctly-middle-class Daily Mail, The Spoiler got to thinking – are there any other footballers with proper posh-sounding names? Can anyone beat a player with a double-barrelled surname, half of which is the same as a former Prime Minister?

There are a few after the jump. But, as always, help us out with any we’ve missed…

Quinton Fortune


Despite sounding like a scampish young aristocrat with a heart of gold in a Charles Dickens story book, Fortune is in fact the former Manchester United player who was a promising youngster for about nine years.

Matthew Le Tissier


Not only does his name sound posh, but he was born in St. Peter Port, Guernsey. The Spoiler had a holiday there when it was a whippersnapper and can confirm that it is indeed proper posh. There’s an aquarium and everything.

Graeme Pierre Le Saux


Another one from those fancy Channel Islands. He has a son called Lucas and a daughter called Georgina and was once seen reading the GUARDIAN!!! La-di-da.

Christopher Gerald Bart-Williams


Four names! You may know him better as former Sheffield Wednesday and Nottingham Forest midfielder Chris Bart-Williams – veteran of roughly 15 relegation battles.

Jan Johannes Vennegoor of Hesselink


Despite having NEVER been photographed in a suit or tux, he makes it into our list.

According to our in-depth research, the Rapid Vienna striker got his name because, in the 17th century, two farming households, both alike in dignity, in fair Holland, where we lay our scene, married into each other and kept both names.  ‘Of’ in Dutch literally means ‘or’ in English, so Vennegoor of Hesselink is either really posh, or somewhere down the line, there was debate over someone’s baby daddy.

We’ve definitely missed loads. Shout us down below…

9 responses so far
  • Wilberto // January 12, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    John Nutter

  • Richard Gilzene // January 12, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    Troy Archibald-Henville, a man so ashamed of his toff roots (in leafy, genteel Newham) Exeter asked the Football League if he could just have ‘Troy’ on the back of his shirt instead.

  • Harpo // January 12, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    Adam Le Fondre, Rotherham goalscoring bloke

  • Bully // January 12, 2011 at 4:25 pm

    Kingsley Francis-Reynolds

    contains ‘king’ and it’s double barrelled.

  • Harpo // January 12, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    Turns out Le Fondre’s full name is even more posh: Glenville Adam J. Le Fondre

  • MikeLymane // January 13, 2011 at 10:51 am


  • LargeHadronCollider // January 13, 2011 at 9:44 pm

    Henri Lansbury <— winner

  • HdotJones // January 18, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    Troy Archibald-Henville – Exeter City.

    Nathaniel Knight-Percival – Wrexham.

    Guess that makes me the winner then…..

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