Competition Time
Win tickets to Leyton Orient vs Sheffield Wednesday
The Spoiler’s great pals at NPower have given us four pairs of tickets to give away for the Leyton Orient/Sheffield Wednesday glamour clash on January 22nd.
All you need to do is tell The Spoiler your favourite joke (in the comments section – plus EMAIL THEM HERE, so that we know how to get in touch with you), and we shall be announcing the lucky winners on January 17th.
Best jokes win. Get cracking!
Jan
14
18 responses so far
Stephen Brai // January 13, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Liverpool FC
NIGEL EDRIDGE // January 13, 2011 at 2:58 pm
Just read a recent interview in which Katie Price talks about her impending split from husband Alex Reid: ‘I’m devastated’ she said. ‘Alex has left a gaping hole in my life’. Come off it Katie, that gaping hole’s been there since your early teens.
Chris Wood // January 13, 2011 at 7:01 pm
David Beckham had to visit the Doctor because his body is talking to him… literally!
The Doctor calls David in and asks: “what’s the problem?”
Beckham replies: “Well Doctor, my leg keeps talking to me and I’m not sure what the problem is.”
So the Doctor leans in and has a listen to Beckhams knee and sure enough, it says: “lend me a fiver!” Knowing that this isn’t right he moves down Beckhams leg and presses his ear up against it. Again, it talks to him and says: “can you spare a tenner?”
The Doctor has a puzzled look on his face and exclaims: “I haven’t seen anything like this before I’m afraid.
Beckham asks if he will listen one more time so the Doctor obliges and listens just above his ankle and like before, the leg speaks to him: “give us a quid”.
Immediately the Doctor recognises the problem and explains to Beckham: “I know what it is now, your leg is broke in three places.
LOFC FAN // January 13, 2011 at 7:32 pm
They say that pessimists see the cup as half empty and optimists as half full. My team haven’t even seen the cup!
Mark W // January 13, 2011 at 11:48 pm
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints
NIGEL EDRIDGE // January 14, 2011 at 2:27 am
So I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, that’s aboriginal
NIGEL EDRIDGE // January 14, 2011 at 2:29 am
So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went T’PAU! I said “Don’t you mean KAPOW?? He said “No, I’ve got china in my hand
Ed Sutcliffe // January 14, 2011 at 10:32 am
Why do Marxists drink herbal tea?
Because proper tea is theft
Emma Bownes // January 14, 2011 at 5:18 pm
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was out standing in his field…
JoshBurt // January 14, 2011 at 5:34 pm
Great jokes all! I’m enjoying them A LOT. Do email them to the link in the story as well, just so I know how to alert you if you win….
Adam Worrall // January 14, 2011 at 8:37 pm
Why did the Japanese football match take so long to finish?
Because the game went into Ninjury Time
J. Jones // January 14, 2011 at 9:55 pm
Whats the difference between a circle and Sheffield Wednesday?
Nothin’ they both have no points.
NIGEL EDRIDGE // January 15, 2011 at 11:46 am
i told my wife I had a job in a bowling alley. She said “Tenpin?” I said, “No, it’s a permanent job.
NIGEL EDRIDGE // January 15, 2011 at 11:50 am
accident on the m25 today lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster
david stratford // January 15, 2011 at 8:02 pm
i used to go out with a red head
no hair just a red head
david stratford // January 15, 2011 at 8:07 pm
this bird i used to go out with
she had long blond hair all down her back
nun on her head just all down her back
B. Mills // January 17, 2011 at 10:16 am
Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on a long and successful marriage –
The Queen replied wear a seat belt and dont piss me off.
B. Mills // January 17, 2011 at 10:48 am
NIGEL EDRIDGE // Jan 15, 2011 at 11:50 am
accident on the m25 today lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster
* This should win *
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