Tottenham Hotspur’s revolving door has trouble spinning
Gervais – lovable
Depending on how you take your cocktails, you will either have spent yesterday evening watching MOTD2 (just ice), or gearing up for the Golden Globes (in a pineapple). For those who like it with no frills, here are the highlights: Helena Bonham Carter turned up in mismatching shoes (berserk!), and Ricky Gervais got all Frankie Boyle about it by shooting Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson shaped fish in a bucket.
Here’s what else we know about cocktail drinkers, thanks to important news specialists, like The Sun, The Guardian, The Daily Mail, and a handful of other ones…
The revolving door at Tottenham doesn’t know whether it’s spinning or, erm… not spinning. The word on the street is that Henry Redknapp sent his best worker up to Newcastle in a football transfer recreation of the gritty 1970s Michael Caine vehicle Get Carter – only in this case, he was there to hand over a satchel containing £15million in ironed five pound notes in return for Andy Carroll with a bag over his head.
Apparently Newcastle told him to sod off – which, fittingly, is pretty much how they felt about Michael Caine in the film.
In further news unlikely to tempt Spurs fans to go holidaying in the North, Everton took one look at their £2million bid for Steven Pienaar, and laughed so much that little chunks of chips spattered in thick gloops of gravy went flying all around the boardroom.
They’re going to need at least 30 per cent more if Henry and his boys really want to do business.
And Robbie Keane made the whole of Birmingham not know whether they were being merked or not when he explained his absolutely enormous wage demands. He is still suspended in football purgatory.
That is all.