Transfer Talk

Konchesky’s Liverpool nightmare to end, and more…

Famous bottom shoehorned into article about football


There is a genuine concern that celebrities who were initially only revered for having impressive bottoms are allowing it to go to their heads. There’s that Kardashian thing who seems to be famous just because she’s got LOTS of junk in her trunk. And now Jennifer Lopez - who has outfoxed everyone by selling records AND movies whilst they busily stared at her whopper – has deemed herself worthy to fill Simon Cowell’s high waisted trousers as a judge on American Idol. Needless to say, all eyes will be on her. Presumably wishing that bloody table wasn’t in the way.

Here’s what else we know about important news, from all of the big names – The Sun, The Daily Mail, The Guardian, The Lambeth Ear… 

Great news for Mrs Konchesky, with word going round that her little boy’s Merseyside nightmare looks set to end with a loan move back home to Fulham. She will presumably been twatting her delight on Twitter for the benefit of others who think that Liverpool is a foreign country.

Also rumoured to be boarding a train and looking from a window as landscapes gradually turn from Black and White to Colour like they’re watching the opening minutes of The Wizard of Oz, is Joleon Lescott. His comical Manchester holiday looks like it’s going to be upgraded to a stint going head-to-head with JT at Chelsea.

Adebayor is going to mirror Konchesky by returning to his old club, with whispers going around that he’ll be off to Monaco for around £9million – roughly a £50million loss for Man City… to the nearest £50million.

And Stepehen Ireland is going to flap the wings on his back and hope that he can get to Newcastle without flying too close to the sun.

That is all.

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