The Sisterhood

10 beautiful, strong, independent, football women

Story depicted with arty football shot

football-women-main.jpg 

Unfortunately, Andy Gray and Richard Keys have managed to take gender relations back a good few years with their astonishing attack on female intelligence. So, in a bid to prove that some men can appreciate women as not only equals, but also superiors, The Spoiler has compiled a list of beautiful, strong, terrifying, and occasionally partially clothed women from the world of football.

You can admire these key members of the sisterhood after the jump…

Helen Chamberlain

Helen Chamberlain

If Keys and Gray fancy a tutorial on the offside rule, then Chamberlain should be their first port of call – a hunch suggests that what this woman doesn’t know about football possibly isn’t worth knowing. Once a Pontins bluecoat, now a Soccer Am staple, the only slight blemish on her magnificence comes from having once taken them out for Penthouse.

Kelly Dalglish

Kelly Dalglish

Kenny’s little boy, Paul, was once signed by Dalglish snr to play for Newcastle, but it’s his little girl, Kelly, who has really made a splash in football. With hair as fair and luxurious as a dove skin smoking jacket, she imparts bucket-loads of wisdom on ESPN. In the above picture, she’s moonlighting as a fashion model, bravely wearing an unfinished dress.

Gabby Logan

Gabby Logan

Something about Gabby Logan’s demeanour suggests that she’d either beat you in an arm wrestle or die trying. She’s one tough cookie. Rather ridiculously, pockets of society seem to be up in arms whenever she gets to anchor Match of the Day. And yet these same people are willing to tolerate Alan Shearer’s unbelievable stating of the obvious week in, week out…

Clare Tomlinson

Clare Tomlinson

The above picture has been deliberately selected to illustrate the old adage about behind every great man there being a great women. Spurs fan Clare has blazed the trail for strong independent women looking to mix it in the sausage factory of football by being the female equivalent of a Sky Sports anchorman. Plus she once had an affair with Bryan Robson, which proves that she also has a magnificent sense of humour.

Georgie Thompson

Georgie Thompson

If it’s high achievers that really float your boat, then Georgie is probably the girl for you. To summarise: she lights up the screen on Sky Sports News, she was voted the number 93 in a sexiest women on the planet poll in 2007 by the gentleman’s bible, FHM, and she now boasts the Dec half of Ant n Dec as a trophy boyfriend. No, that isn’t him in the picture.

Sara Carbonero

Sara Carbonero

Rumours of a rift in the Real Madrid dressing room came on the back of some comments made by Carbonero about Cristiano Ronaldo being a selfish little turd (or something). And as a barometer for the weight of her opinion in Spain, that suggests that it’s very heavy… or red hot… or strong… to be honest the “barometer” and “weight” metaphor is far too confusing for something so simple. Basically she’s good. And pretty.

Karen Brady

Karen Brady

As strong and independent as strong, independent women get, Brady divides her time between shouting feminist slogans at dim-witted fools on The Apprentice, and adding a much-needed waft of expensive perfume to musty football boardrooms.

Kirsty Gallacher

Kirsty Gallacher

Fans of the late 1990s will remember when Kirsty was by far the most beautiful person doing anything on Sky Sports News. She has since gone on to fashion herself as a sexy version of Jeremy Beadle – although the joke was on her one fateful evening when she decided to forsake any traditional underwear and everyone could just about make out her boobs. Ker-ringe!

Millie Code

Millie Code

Another one from the conveyor belt of hot Sky Sports News presenters, news was broken to Millie in 2009 that she was to be named The Sun newspaper’s Top TV Sports Babe. Presumably, the happy tears flowed like celebratory champagne in the Code household that day.

Larissa Riquelme

Larissa Riquelme

Granted, unlike the others, Larissa doesn’t have an actual job in football. And yet, she somehow managed to make this list…

Any more for any more?


27 responses so far
  • lh // January 24, 2011 at 6:48 pm

    is there any reason why you didn’t see fit to include a single female footballer? also, way to fight sexism by…objectifying a bunch of women.

  • Chris // January 24, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    I understand you’re trying to say “You go, girl!” but what’s really coming out for the most part is, “Smart AND pretty, thank God.” Which isn’t necessarily a step forward. When Sky starts employing on-air newswomen who look less like barbies do an article on it. I’ll be the first to shout a “You go, girl!” at you.

  • JoshBurt // January 24, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    My apologies to you both – sadly I couldn’t control their various levels of individual beauty – you could perhaps blame their parents for that? That said, the feature is on “beautiful, strong etc…” football women, so the clue is in the title. I avoided footballers, as the list would have to be completely gargantuan – I’m sure I shall do something on football stars in the future. Have I really unduly objectified women, Ih? I’m sure that if you are familiar with The Spoiler, you might notice that everyone tends to get equal treatment, regardless of gender….

  • R2Dad // January 24, 2011 at 10:26 pm

    Where is the editor when you need one? You were doing fine until Requelme. Still, I am a pig and would like to see the standout beauty of each women’s national team, as well as a club version–since pointing out the least beauteous would obviously offend just about everyone (and all for different reasons).

  • Chris // January 25, 2011 at 1:09 am

    @ Josh: You’re inferring that I should have skipped over this post because the word “beautiful” was included in the title. And yet you were obviously posting this as a response to the current situation with Gray and Keys.
    Since this post is a response to a situation that is rife with sexism, to bring the debate of sexism into your response is not uncalled-for.
    And no, you don’t treat everyone the same. If you did you wouldn’t premise every mish-mash of transfer and gossip news with an excuse to show Megan Fox or Jennifer Lopez’s ass. You would use the relevant photos of footballers doing the hot HOT sh*t that they do. Because there is a demographic out there you could easily feed with absolutely no harm to your basic demo. You could give the women (and some men) serious eye candy and the straight guys wouldn’t even notice. How’s about it? A little eye candy for me and my sistas to make things equal, nobody’s the wiser and you get even more daily hits because over half the population knows you’re actually considering them.
    I read you every day. I am not your enemy. I’m just striving for equal consideration.

  • Rick // January 25, 2011 at 2:06 am

    http://youbeenblinded.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/hope-solo.jpg

    For starters.

  • m // January 25, 2011 at 3:28 am

    t1ts or gtf0

  • Chris // January 25, 2011 at 4:15 am

    @ Rick Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about.

  • Chris // January 25, 2011 at 4:19 am

    Btw, I’ve been calling myself Chris on every footy blog I comment on. Noone has responded to a single thing I’ve said as Linda.

  • sassyone // January 25, 2011 at 5:16 am

    What about Issy Clarke..she is a stato of the highest order no? And Chris aka Linda if you want some male football eye candy I suggest you try the pages over at Kickette. The Spoiler is brillant at what it does, and a lot of what that is, is funny football crap mixed with objectifying women, of which I am one (and no, I’m not an ugly lesbian but a female football fan that can appreciate the finer points of the beautiful game along with the funny bits and the ocassional boob….) if you don’t like it, you shouldn’t read it. Simple.

  • Chris // January 25, 2011 at 5:47 am

    Oh, sassyone, I’m not a Kickette kind of gal. Believe it or not I don’t give a shit about wags and I really don’t want to read their quips about Luis Vuitton manbags. I actually love reading about actual football. I love this site. But, hey, he brought it up. And if it’s brought up, I will voice my opinion. Especially in this case.

  • Chris // January 25, 2011 at 5:55 am

    And when it comes down to it, given the responses of the other footy sites I hit every day(Guardian, Who Ate All the Pies, Dirty Tackle, etc.), this is one I can do without.

  • Nicole // January 25, 2011 at 6:12 am

    My initial reaction upon viewing the chosen ladies of this list was that you had indeed objectified them unnecessarily and I can’t deny that I was a little disappointed that most of the photos were highly sexualized images. But then I had to wonder, why are there even photos of these sports reporters in their pants? You don’t see many male reporters (none to my knowledge) strutting about in in skimpy clothing or posing for nudie mags. It is unthinkable to me that a male reporter do such a thing and not be either sacked or mocked mercilessly. It seems as though these women are expected to prove their feminine desirability. Even Sassyone having to defend herself against being “an ugly lesbian” to justify that she is your average football loving woman.

    Even the women for whom you don’t have sexual images for are more beautiful than the average woman. While this is not your fault, it does say something about the requirements to be a female sports reporter, especially for men’s football, where most male reporters are not exceptionally attractive. Not your fault, but still irritating nonetheless. I’ll admit that I quite like Kickette but also like to read about serious football news that is delivered with a dose of humour. While I can generally get a good, self-depreciating laugh at raunchy jokes aimed at women, turning a blind eye to an issue that upsets and disturbs me, by simply not reading it, is not any way progress has ever been made.

    Sorry for the long post but I’ve liked the honest dialogue on this article. Love the blog in general, keep up the good work.

  • Ed // January 25, 2011 at 7:31 am

    It’s Millie Clode and she’s on air now

  • JamJam // January 25, 2011 at 10:10 am

    Yay! The Spoiler is slowly becoming 4 Chan!

  • JoshBurt // January 25, 2011 at 10:17 am

    Wow, I go to bed for 12 hours beauty sleep and it’s all kicked off! Great debate all, and I do really appreciate the comments. As pointed out, it isn’t entirely my fault that there are good looking women working in football – the point of the article was to highlight how ridiculous Keys and Gray’s comments were, especially with their world littered with the fairer sex, and, yes, to also spend a little time appreciating the women for their looks too. I don’t see this as objectifying anyone any more than doing pieces on “metrosexual footballers” or “footballers who look like Jesus” or “footballers who look like women”. But that’s just me. With a bit of luck, this is all taken with the necessary pinch of salt, safe in the knowledge that The Spoiler pretty much objectifies EVERYONE. Thanks again for some GREAT comments.

  • Chris // January 25, 2011 at 11:40 am

    @ Josh:
    Let me put it to you this way:
    Let’s say the Keys and Gray had been caught saying this:
    Keys: “Somebody better get down there and explain offside to (the black guy).”
    Gray: “Can you believe that? A (black)linesman. (Black men) don’t know the offside rule.”
    Keys: “’Course they don’t. I can guarantee you there will be a big one today. Kenny [Dalglish] will go potty. This is not the first time, is it? Didn’t we have one before?”
    Keys: “The game’s gone mad. Did you hear charming (Barrack Obama) this morning complaining about (racism)? Do me a favour (son).”

    Now, what if you responded by taking what you assume to be a positive stereotype about black men and highlighted it to say, “Hey, it’s okay that we allow black men to be in our world!”
    Do you get it now?

  • JoshBurt // January 25, 2011 at 11:58 am

    Chris, I do see your point. But when did I say that it’s okay that we ALLOW these women in the world of football? You’re putting words into my mouth. I’m merely pointing out that they’re there, it’s good… football isn’t just a man’s world. Also, I wouldn’t say that I’m positively stereotyping anyone. Believe it or not, but I haven’t selected ALL of these women because they’re pretty…. with the exception of Riquelme, they all seem to be excellent at their jobs. If you have any suggestions for women who would be more worthy of inclusion, I would be interested to hear about them…

  • Casper von Hamsterfanny // January 25, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    “…especially with their world LITTERED with the fairer sex”

    uhhh…I don’t believe I’d have used that word JoshBurt…especially in light of the subject matter

  • Eve // January 25, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    Josh, it’s not that you literally said “Girls are totally allowed in our treehouse as long as their parents made them hot! YOU’RE WELCOME, LADIES!” I hope you don’t feel that people are reading your comments that way.

    But listen, I think what people are trying to tell you is that saying “girls are too useful — check out how hot they are!” is not, actually, a counterpoint to “girls are useless, get them off the field.” In fact, it’s the opposite: kind of a well-meaning but still hurtful version of the same sentiment. It’s not the fact that this post EXISTS that your lady-readers (and there are a lot of us!) are weirded out by; it’s the fact that the post is framed as a refutation of the Keys & Gray incident.

    Trust me, female footy fans hear some variation on this sentiment in every pub, stadium and internet forum we frequent. The condescending shock when you DO know the offside rule, or can talk positional discipline; the appraising looks which you’re supposed to take as a compliment; the implicit assumption that you’re only there to impress dudes, like some creepy pickup artist who learns to embroider so he can infiltrate a sewing circle. I don’t think anyone’s accusing you of coming from a malicious place, but this post is annoying, and you’re too smart to pretend you don’t understand why. It would be great if you could try to see where we’re coming from, instead of shrugging and saying “how can I be sexist when I’m giving you compliments??” and then writing off those who complain as hysterical ovary-monsters who are just having a lot of irrational feelings.

    Chris, thanks for articulating the argument so well.

  • JoshBurt // January 25, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    Thank you ALL for articulating your arguments so well – I am rather humbled by the responses. And a little bit regretful of the piece, although not ENTIRELY. Like I mentioned, I’m not sure ANY of them are just gratuitious bits of crumpet (with perhaps one exception), but the point I was making has possibly been rather scewed in the delivery of it – tackling a big current social issue with a tongue in a cheek is perhaps not really clever territory for The Spoiler. Bad timing, not my greatest piece. I shall happily concede on this one – a valuable lesson learned. Thanks again for some magnificently well-thought-out comments. It’s been fun… in a way.

  • lh // January 25, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    Josh, thank you for listening — it really means a lot, and I will certainly be coming back as a faithful reader.

  • Chris // January 25, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    Thanks for your response. I do appreciate being heard out on this one. The whole thing, from Grays and Keys’ comments to the slap-on-the-wrist response from Sky and the nonchalant attitude coming from so many commentors on so many sites, well, it’s all rubbed me the wrong way and I admit it, I’m a bit raw. In no way did I ever intend to attack you as if you had any malicious intent in posting this article. I’ll gladly keep you in my favorites.
    Also thanks to all the others who put their elequent two cents in. Greatly appreciated.

  • V // January 25, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    Just want to say that girls wanting to “read about actual football” IS hot.

  • James // January 25, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    Hey, I think the only mistake here was that you used the word beautiful. Other than Riquelme and maybe Carbonero, on second thought, no, they women here are no better looking than anyone you’d see every day walking on the street.

    Granted they’re all dolled up for tv, premieres and big events… they’re trying to look nice.

    I don’t see the sexism of this list at all. It’s a list of successful women in football. Calling them all beautiful is the mistake (and a stretch) and that’s what gave the “Hot and smart, you go girl” vibe.

    It’s an okay article, not one of your best, but it’s not bad or sexist. For eye candy, I’d rather look at a list of the hottest female footballers, but had you done that, that would be sexist.

  • sassyone // January 26, 2011 at 6:36 am

    Chris not only do I like to read about actual ‘real football’ but I am also a woman sports reporter (specialising in actual, real football) although I do find that men are sometimes shocked and awed that I actually know the same, if not more than them, which I find quite a satisfying surprise, I am lucky to have not come across too many sexist fella’s in my time (I don’t work in England, which is probably why) all I’m saying is although everyone is entitled to their opinion I think you are quite possibly using the wrong platform in which to voice it.

  • Kennyville // April 12, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    Princess Gabby logan must the the highest paid broadcaster at BBC radio 5-Live

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