Tottenham money splurge, and cheerio Torres!
Obviously taking a leaf from the magician’s handbook, Spurs have opted to use the distraction method to divert attention away from yesterday’s flaccid drubbing at the hands of Fulham. How? By spending money! Lots of it!
Or at least trying to.
Here’s what we know about deadline day transfers, thanks to all of the biggest newspapers. More to come during the course of the day, naturally.
Henry Redknapp and his pals have presumably been up all night going through old tapes of Spanish Match of the Day, before offering £30million for anyone who made it into the Goal of the Month shortlist.
Villareal turned down their offer for Guiseppe Rossi, Atletico Bilbao laughed in their faces after an enquiry about Fernando Llorente, but word has it that Sergio Aguero might be granted leave from Atletico Madrid for around £38million. Peter Crouch might be wise to start thinking about foreign language classes.
Also linked with a move to Tottenham are Jamie’s best bud Scott Parker, and handsome Phil Neville.
In news from above the Watford Gap – which Londoner’s sometimes hilarious call “the North” – Fernando Torres looks set to finally join Chelsea, just a few short months after The Spoiler declared the whole thing a done deal (better late than never etc).
And Shaun Wright-Phillips’ move from Manchester might yet have been totally scuppered by that Adam Johnson injury. Poor little guy.
Oh, and if anyone cares, someone just said something about Gareth Bale joining Barcelona…….