The Spoiler’s Great January transfer review – Amendment
It may not be January anymore, but what the hell, we’ve never let abstract concepts like ‘time’ get in the way of our boundary-pushing life…
Worst Buy –
Andy Carroll Shefki Kuqi
Like a man who’s had the girl he’s been chatting up all night stolen off him at 1.55am by that smarmy guy at the bar, Alan Pardew has decided anything is better than leaving on his own and going home and crying and wanting to die, so he finds consolation in the arms of the one no-one else wants.
Shefki Kuqi has gone to Newcastle! In February! The reason he’s been able to sign is because he’s a free agent. He had his contract terminated at Swansea City after scoring sod all goals and failing to get in the team ahead of the might of Craig Beattie and Stephen Dobbie. He will now be gracing the Premier League with the Magpies, whose youth policy must be pretty poor not to have a striker ANYWHERE at the club who is better than ‘not very good and slow.’