Transfer stuff

The Spoiler’s Great January transfer review – Amendment

It may not be January anymore, but what the hell, we’ve never let abstract concepts like ‘time’ get in the way of our boundary-pushing life…

Worst Buy – Andy Carroll Shefki Kuqi

Like a man who’s had the girl he’s been chatting up all night stolen off him at 1.55am by that smarmy guy at the bar, Alan Pardew has decided anything is better than leaving on his own and going home and crying and wanting to die, so he finds consolation in the arms of the one no-one else wants.

Shefki Kuqi has gone to Newcastle! In February! The reason he’s been able to sign is because he’s a free agent. He had his contract terminated at Swansea City after scoring sod all goals and failing to get in the team ahead of the might of Craig Beattie and Stephen Dobbie. He will now be gracing the Premier League with the Magpies, whose youth policy must be pretty poor not to have a striker ANYWHERE at the club who is better than ‘not very good and slow.’

4 responses so far
  • Riccardo // February 10, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    Hi mate…best regards from Italy, i’m Richard, a soccer reporter in rome. First of all i would say that you have a so nice blog….then why don’t we make an exchange of links? visit mine and let me know if you like it…you find me on Twitter and facebook…have a good day and thanks again STADIO GOAL ( p.s. I follow you on twitter, i hope you’ll do the same for me…thanks mate

  • Hobbes // February 10, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    Excuse me, but technically, we did not buy him. We signed him. Worst blog ever!

    I find this type of signing to be par for the course for Newcastle and not really newsworthy. All it does help bring me down from the 0-4 comeback euphoria.

    Newcastle United is the speedball of football.

  • Fat Nakago // February 11, 2011 at 7:39 am

    Let me get this straight….Swansea City, who is in a promotion fight with Cardiff City and Norwich City didn’t want this dude ((and I use this word dude in the most jocular, pub-friendly, dude-like way)), and yet, Newcastle wants him??


    Well…having depth is a necessary thing. After all, the Green Bay Packers would not have won the Super Bowl w/o depth. And enroute to winning the Super Bowl, overcoming tons of injuries, the Packers picked up a cast-off running back, Dmitri Nance, off the Atlanta Falcon’s practice squad who saw absolute no touches in the Super Bowl. My point is that Shefki Kuqi is the same sort of lost soul….a body, just in case, but most likely one who will just take up space, or, like Nance, will somewhat fill a void.

    Too be he can’t fill the void between Mike Ashley’s ears. But then again, even Andy Carroll couldn’t do that.

  • Hobbes // February 11, 2011 at 5:16 pm

    Instead of signing a journeyman to just occupy space on the field, we should have held open tryouts a la the Philadelphia Eagles! They would save some money on wages and get some (world wide?) publicity.
    Yeah, open tryouts. Now that is some reckless and short sighted management I can get behind.
    Howay the lads!

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