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Footballers who we’d send a Valentine’s Day card to

Some romantic balloons

It’s just as well The Spoiler doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day otherwise tonight’s plan of sitting alone in a cold flat eating Pot Noodle and watching P.S. I Love You may just tip us over the edge.

We’re sure that Premier League footballers have no shortage of busty stunna’s happy to give them affection on this pressure-filled day, but there are a few who we’d like to give an extra bit of lovin’ to just for being bloody likeable…

Mario Balotelli

Not a traditionally lovely guy, but The Spoiler can’t help but love him. He is so sure of himself he makes Jose Mourinho look like a wimpier Charlie Brown. He does the whole rutting away with Page 3 girls thing that all Premier League footballers do, but with one crucial difference – he’s not married.

Phil Neville

When David Moyes isn’t ranting about something so minor it makes you want to cry, Everton are a pretty likeable club. They are lead by a man who spent his Man Utd career being pretty average while indulging his habit of giving away penalties in the last minute of crucial games. He’s since become pretty good and, compared to his brother, he’s outrageously likeable.


Loves his wife. Really loves God.

Scott Parker

A serious man for serious times. He’s ditched the whole wanting to win trophies thing – it’s sooo passé – and now follows the ‘big fish in a little pond’ footballing philosophy pioneered by Matt Le Tissier. He’s also got bloody lovely hair.

James Collins

Spent years being a bit rubbish but is now pretty good. Also, a member of Team Spoiler once met him and said he was “a really nice guy.”

Gareth Bale

He’s a great player and all that nonsense, but he never seems happier than when he’s sliding on his knees doing the whole making a heart with his hands thing – it’s totally loveable. He’s clearly got a lot of love to give and it’s time for us to give him some back.

Javier Hernandez

AWWWW! LOOK AT HIM! He’s lovely. He rocks the tattooed eye-liner and just looks so happy to be playing football. More adorable than those news stories about a dog who raises a stray cat as if it was one of his own brood. Bless.

Who have we missed? It took Spoiler HQ a depressing amount of time to think of players we liked, so your help would be much appreciated…

2 responses so far
  • Calvin // February 14, 2011 at 2:11 pm

    James Collins once called me the c-word on twitter. Did not mean to upset him.

  • Linda // February 14, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    Bolo Zenden. That dance with Gyan either points to such irrepressable joy (or arrogance?) that all self-conciousness flies out the window or complete social awkwardness. Either way, it makes my face turn red everytime. Priceless.

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