gobshite news

Some more words of wisdom from Stephen Ireland

Thanks to Spoiler reader, Phil…


It’s been a golden week at Spoiler HQ – there’s been so much going on! Shootings! Failed drugs tests! Calamitous goalkeeping! Fergie rants! A team member bringing in Krispy Kreme doughnuts!

Unfortunately, some of the stories have been so perfect in every way that there’s been very little to say about them. What can you possibly add to ‘Ashley Cole shoots a work experience student’ to make it any more perfect? NOTHING – that’s what!

Here’s another story that needs very little explanation – Stephen Ireland has done some talking and what will happen has happened…

This is what the multiple-nanned midfielder has to say about stuff:

On playing for Ireland (the country):

“I feel nothing for the national team. I don’t feel at all guilty when they lose and when they win I never say ‘oh dear, I could have been there’.

“Even if Ireland had qualified for the World Cup I wouldn’t have gone. People are calling for me to return, but I only ever played five games, guys!

“International soccer doesn’t interest me. Going away for three days to play in Andorra – I’ve got better things to do.

“Also, when you’re Irish you know you’ll never win the World Cup. Even when I played for the youth teams, I got fed up at having to go away. Everyone else was from Dublin and I came from Cork. I had to get the train on my own, pay for a taxi, there was no hotel, no food. The organisation was amateurish.”

On Ireland boss Giovanni Trapattoni:

“I’ve never seen anyone so arrogant. I met him once. He was taking calls every two minutes and made me hang around for 15 minutes in his office.

“In the end, he said, ‘if you want to play then come, if not, it’s no problem’. He did that mainly so the press would leave him in peace. Foreign coaches, they’re no good.”

On Cork:

“Ireland is reaping what it sowed. We built blocks of flats just for the sake of it and now there’s no one inside them. It cost huge amounts of money and nobody is in a position to pay. But I don’t care about Ireland. I don’t know if I’ll go back one day. Live in Cork? I might as well shoot myself. I prefer Los Angeles.”

On Aston Villa and Birmingham (the city):

“After 15 matches on the bench Houllier told me to stay at home. I trained during the week and on Fridays he told me, ‘no point you coming, you are not in the team.

“Yet I was the best player in training. It was my team that won in every session. One of the few times he played me, we drew 0-0 at Chelsea and I ended up man of the match.

“Houllier asked me to come and live in Birmingham because it was taking me 75 minutes to come to training. But there were 15 players in the same position as me. Some came from London and took more than two hours, but he only asked me to move.

“For a start, Birmingham is a crap city and I wasn’t going to make the effort, especially as I wasn’t playing. Might as well be in Manchester if I had to stay home on match days.”

Hope Newcastle suits you better, Mr Ireland…

3 responses so far
  • Soccer Mom // March 7, 2011 at 1:49 am

    Newcastle will suit him..

  • Wilberto // March 7, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    Ledge. The game needs more characters like Stephen Ireland.

    Get him on MOTD alongside Razor Ruddock and Robbie Sav, instead of ‘Dreary’ Dixon and ‘Cool Teacher’ Lawro

  • MwepuLlunga // March 8, 2011 at 10:19 pm

    I’ll second that and to be fair its hard to argue with any of his points. A true voice for our time.

Leave a comment
  1. View comments in RSS feed