Would the Real/Slim Ronaldo please weigh-in?
Calling the Real Ronaldo the Real Ronaldo upsets a lot of people who love
the Fake Cristiano Ronaldo, but differentiating by calling him Fat Ronaldo has never sat too well with The Spoiler.
He’s one of our most favourite players ever so even when he needs a crane to him out of bed in the morning, we’ll just stick with saying he’s gone a bit fuzzy around the edges.
Anyway, it seems our reluctance to poke fun at his sturdiness is well founded…
Ronnie was recently on Brazillian television programme CQC getting weighed while people gawped in astonishment in a Brazil’s Biggest Loser-style.
The reason? He said that if Corinthians didn’t win the Brazillian league then he’d get weighed on the show and, true to his word, he was there looking rather dapper.
So what did he weigh? Tons and tons? Nope, it turns out that Ronaldo now weights 73 kilos which is actually six kilos LESS than he weighed at the 2006 World Cup which he did alright in. So there, no more Fat Ronaldo stuff, please.
BREAKING NEWS: Ronaldo tampered with the scales! The Swine! He said this on Twitter:
“Galera , devo confessar q manipulei a malanca !!!! Bjos e boa noite.”
Our Russian or whatever it is isn’t too hot, but we’re pretty sure that confessar = confess, manipulei = manipulate and noite = night.
We still love him though.
It’s a pretty flimsy excuse to show all 15 of his World Cup goals, isn’t it? Ah, f*ck it…