A dreadful pun

Would the Real/Slim Ronaldo please weigh-in?

Top entertainment…

Calling the Real Ronaldo the Real Ronaldo upsets a lot of people who love the Fake Cristiano Ronaldo, but differentiating by calling him Fat Ronaldo has never sat too well with The Spoiler.

He’s one of our most favourite players ever so even when he needs a crane to him out of bed in the morning, we’ll just stick with saying he’s gone a bit fuzzy around the edges.

Anyway, it seems our reluctance to poke fun at his sturdiness is well founded…

Ronnie was recently on Brazillian television programme CQC getting weighed while people gawped in astonishment in a Brazil’s Biggest Loser-style.

The reason? He said that if Corinthians didn’t win the Brazillian league then he’d get weighed on the show and, true to his word, he was there looking rather dapper.

So what did he weigh? Tons and tons? Nope, it turns out that Ronaldo now weights 73 kilos which is actually six kilos LESS than he weighed at the 2006 World Cup which he did alright in. So there, no more Fat Ronaldo stuff, please.

BREAKING NEWS: Ronaldo tampered with the scales! The Swine! He said this on Twitter:

“Galera , devo confessar q manipulei a malanca !!!! Bjos e boa noite.”

Our Russian or whatever it is isn’t too hot, but we’re pretty sure that confessar = confess, manipulei = manipulate and noite = night.

We still love him though.

It’s a pretty flimsy excuse to show all 15 of his World Cup goals, isn’t it? Ah, f*ck it…


6 responses so far
  • not funny // March 15, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    why do you stoop to childish things by calling cristiano the fake ronaldo, he has won the same trophies as the brazilian one both team and individually. cristiano has a uefa champions league while br ronaldo has a wc. depends on who you talk to see which trophy is more prestigous because the champions league is alot harder than the wc to win, ask the best coach on earth mourinho. and if you forgot br ronaldo never won a champions league

  • aah // March 15, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    ^^^ are you honestly saying cristiano can play his way to being called the real ronaldo? they’re both good and comparing CL to WC success is splitting hairs.
    How about this: Brazilian Ronaldo is the “Original Ronaldo” or “Ronaldo Classic”, and C. Ronaldo is “New Ronaldo” or “Ronaldo v.2″.
    Personally, Brazilian Ronaldo has always been “Ronaldo” and C. Ronaldo has always been Cristiano. If he’s acting like a bitch then he’s “Cristy.”

  • lala // March 16, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    considering brazilians speak Portuguese. the name Ronaldo carried by the Portuguese is the real Ronaldo ( named after Ronald regan). wining the world cup with the brazil team of that time not that tough considering their pedigree. both great Ronaldos. but wining the CL is way tougher. sorry fat ronaldo. you are a great but a thing of the pAst.

  • duka // March 21, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    now honestly are you just trying to be an ashole or you r just sarcastic. WC is on another level then CL. Its like wimbeldon and indian wales. Difference day and night bro. Cristy will never achieve what Ronaldo achieved. And its not cause i dont like him its just cause he simply doesnt posses the extraordinary skill Ronaldo does.

  • shay // March 21, 2011 at 9:22 pm

    What is the point in comparing them or calling the real and fake? It’s not as if Cristiano had any control over what he was named, and that happened many years before the Phenom was on the international stage anyway. Give it a rest. They are both great players.

  • badboy // March 31, 2011 at 9:24 am

    ronaldo isnt cristiano’s real name. Its a fake name his mother gave him after Ronald Regan (USA President)

    So the author is right. He is the FAKE Roanldo.

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