No, we don't know what L$%&*! stands for either

Tottenham striker Peter Crouch is officially thick as £$%&*!



For the second time in a year, Peter Crouch as gone to Madrid and got f*cked.

If the first incident (cheating on Abbey Clancy with a grotty prostitute) suggested stupidity on a huge scale, then his two lunges to get sent off against Real Madrid last night confirmed it.

Now, the collective IQ at Spoiler HQ may barely make it into double figures, but even we’d fancy our chances not to get sent off for two identical and needless hacks in the first 15 minutes of our club’s most important game in decades…

Remember a year ago? Crouch looked to be above all the shenanigans that normal footballers indulged in and gave that well funny answer to the question about what he’d be if he weren’t a footballer – Oh, Peter! How we laughed!

Now everyone hates him. Sort of.  Harry Reknapp said this on the matter:

“I haven’t spoken to Crouchy to be honest, I’m disappointed obviously, it’s all we needed to go down to 10 men so early in the game.”

Which roughly translates as:

“You stupid twunt, Crouchy. You’ve ruined everything. You’re off in the summer.”

However, the sending off shouldn’t mask just how much better Real Madrid were than the visitors. Apart from a couple of brief flickers of goodness from Gareth Bale in the first half, they were never threatened.

Real were everything you’d expect from a bloody good team managed by a bloody good manager and never looked anything less than 12 or 13 cuts above their north London opponents.

Xabi Alonso did what he always does, Ronaldo passed the ball loads but still managed to have 14 shots during the game, Emmanuel Adebayor had his game every two years when he looked up for it, Marcelo was great going forward, Angel Di María scored an excellent goal etc, etc, etc. No-one was hugely amazing for Real, but collectively they were dominant.

So, Spurs’ Champions League adventure is over. What are everyone’s thoughts? Are we being too harsh on Crouch? Let us know what you think with a comment below.

3 responses so far
  • Matt84 // April 6, 2011 at 10:41 am

    Crouch: lanky twonk.

    Jenas: So out of his depth at this level

    Lennon: Bottled it?

    Gomes: Dodgy more than brilliant should have done better for 1st and 4th goals

    Dawson/Gallas/Sandro: absolute heros – so proud

    Full backs: did well. (not so much Corluka actually)

    Moddle: probed; we rely on him too heavily

    VDV/JD: selfish + ineffective

    Bale: Like Moddle, we expect too much; also clearly not fit.

    Real + Maureen : They are bloody good.

  • Tomspurs // April 6, 2011 at 10:57 am

    Lets be honest, who didn’t think the game was going to be a joke the moment they saw Jenas replacing Lennon.?

  • V // April 6, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    Indeed, Tom.

    I actually giggled when I saw.

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