Wembley looks very pretty ahead of the Champions League final
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to a very special article. For one week only The Spoiler is coming to you ON A SATURDAY!
That’s right, while the rest of you are sitting about eating bacon sandwiches and making your plans for tonight’s Champions League final, The Spoiler is working our socks off and our fingers to the bone as we bring you the highlights from our Friday day trip.
Thanks to Heineken we were allowed a little look around Wembley and saw all sorts of exciting things. Things like cables! Vans! Fluorescent bibs! It’s all kicking off at Wembley!
However, once we’d seen all the grey things we were actually allowed inside the ground and went to the press conferences and watched the teams train and stuff – it was well good, like.
Some pictures will follow, but first we thought we’d tell you some things we learnt that we found rather interesting about our day out… IN BULLET POINTS!
- There about 800km of cables at Wembley used to broadcast the final.
- Pre-match press conferences are boring no matter who the person being interviewed is and no matter how big the game is.
- They’re even more boring when most of the questions are in Spanish.
- The Wembley pitch looks in tip-top nick and is actually 3% synthetic material. That means it’s a lot sturdier and more able to deal with chubby, middle-aged Take That fans.
- Daily Mirror football writer and official John Terry cheerleader Oliver Holt looks like a homeless man.
- Football training is exactly the same whether you’re a nine-year-old kid or the best player in the world.
- Even the best players in the world love just smacking the ball about and have to be forced to warm-up.
- Paul Scholes hits the ball harder than god would if he was a footballer…
- …and he tackles like a loon even in training the day before a Champions League final.
- Dani Alves seems like a laugh.
- Lionel Messi has quite a nice touch.
- Bebe really is a bit… you know…
- The Spoiler still dreams of a mis-placed pass finding its way to us, where we control it instantly, volley it back to Pep Guardiola and get immediately signed up because of the potential we’ve shown.
That’s about it really. Pictures are coming…