Suck up

Did Alex McLeish really write this?

Like the same way the Queen writes her Christmas speeches


Sitting on a train into Spoiler Towers last week, my light sleeping was distracted by a beeping of my phone. But it wasn’t a message from the girlfriend saying I left my lunch in the fridge or a mate calling off our planned night of FIFA 12, it was from Alex McLeish.

First I thought it was going to be an offer of cheap tickets for a future game as some type of apology for the dross that has regularly been served up at Villa Park since his arrival or even the resignation letter that 98 per cent of Aston Villa fans would gladly accept.

Although then I remembered that he uses email to announce his plans to quit.

But once I read on, it was clear that it was simply a PR exercise offering an account of how well he thought the season had gone so far and a very in depth one at close to 1,000 words.

One simple **** would have been adequate.

Some of his points and attempts to appease Villa fans were almost comedy genius and the Queen would certainly fire her marketing department if they provided such laughable wisdom on Christmas Day.

Perhaps the two biggest gems hidden within the piece were the following,

  •  “Satisfactory progress, can do better.” Certainly, I think that would be a fair and balanced assessment.
  • I can assure you that my appetite for attacking, winning football is second to none.

Now, satisfactory surely has to be replaced with under-performing and last I remember long-ball garbage was never referred to as attacking.

IMO, the email was more like an encouraging school report for the children out of their depth at school hoping that their results will get better, which some could argue is true of McLeish, who still counts winning the SPL with Rangers as a bonafide achievement.

Looking back I would have been better off staying asleep, although now it seems that McLeish is staying for at least the season, at least some money could be made with Boylesports offering 16/1 on Villa’s relegation from the Premier League.

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