2012 | The Spoiler

FOREIGN STUFF

Europe’s next top manager: Little Airplane set to scale great heights

Catania boss destined for greatness, if he ignores Inter and Chelsea

The similarities between catwalk and dugout are vast: the posturing, the ability to silently convey a message interpretable only by the profession’s elite (ie Tyra Banks, John Terry), the bitchiness and above all else the fashion accessories.

When it comes to cutthroat-itude, to invent a term that should exist, though a dugout is an even [...]

Mar

19

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1:07 PM

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Massive Champions League news

Benfica stand between Chelsea and the right to lose to Barcelona

APOEL's chances of Champions League glory also suffer a blow

While you’ve been screaming at horses on television, over in Switzerland, that loveable bald bloke has been perfecting the art of time wasting.

In between those eagerly-anticipated video montages, he did manage to oversee the Champions League draw, and miraculously, kept Real Madrid and Barcelona apart. Not just in the quarter-final, but in the semis [...]

Mar

16

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4:28 PM

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BIG WEEK

Champions League possibilities and Cheltenham Festival free bets

Five for Messi, four for Gomez, three for Torres?

Another dramatic night in the Champions League saw Mario Gomez come within a goal of firing five in a home knockout game and presumably prompting the press to laud him as the best player in the history of football.

Elsewhere, Inter won but lost the pitiful drunken fistfight between surely the two most out-of-form sides [...]

Mar

14

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9:56 AM

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TACTICAL TWEAK

Revealed: the real reason behind Arsenal’s dramatic recent revival

How announcer learning players’ surnames saved Arsenal’s season

There are several theories as to why Arsenal have gone from sailing along in summer holiday mode to sudden favourites for fourth with a decent chance of overhauling Tottenham.

Some will link it to the absence of Aaron Ramsey, as anonymous as Robin van Persie has been brilliant in recent months. Others will point to [...]

Mar

7

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3:44 PM

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WINNING IN THREE COUNTRIES

Meet the great Rafa Benitez, a big hit in England, Spain and Italy

Benitez’s trophy-littered Inter stint, as seen through Rafa’s eyes...

With Rafael Benitez approaching 15 months out of work, The Spoiler has found a way that he could pocket a tidy sum before finding a new club: offering the UK and Spain’s millions of unemployed youngsters a crash course in CV embellishment.

As the last coach to have won La Liga with someone other than [...]

Mar

6

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2:39 PM

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CFC SAY TTFN TO AVB

AVB out, RDM in, Chelsea to hire a two-initialled manager in June

Is Spalletti the man to restore two-name normality at Chelsea?

Just hours passed between Chelsea firing up the Bunsen burner for the zany scientific experiment of putting cone distributor Roberto Di Matteo in charge until the summer and the previous promoters of such a strategy, Wolves, being thumped 5-0 round the corner.

Luckily for RDM, as he will surely be labelled within a week – [...]

Mar

5

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4:38 PM

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MIXED MESSAGES

Is Villas-Boas so fed up that he actually wants Chelsea to get rid?

AVB kindly points out that this is usually sacking season at Chelsea

It’s tough to know how to feel about Andre Villas-Boas. He’s not the most endearing boss – though Mick McCarthy’s demise pushes him up that table – yet there has to be some sympathy as he tries to assert authority over the squad who think that they can manage themselves.

Saturday’s 3-0 stroll past a [...]

Feb

28

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12:58 PM

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FAN UNREST

They want their Villa back, but what defines Aston Villa-ness?

Not the man affectionately known as the dirty Bluenose b******

Alex McLeish was predictably lampooned as Aston Villa endured their fifth 0-0 draw with a bottom-half rival this season away to bottom club Wigan.

And along with the bland, worn-out cries of “you don’t know what you’re doing” came a chorus that similarly unpopular predecessor Gerard Houllier was once treated to: “we want our Villa [...]