Alex Curran endears herself to the Merseyside population

The Spoiler has never spent a night out in Liverpool - as a bona fide member of the Soft Southern Media^© we get a nosebleed each time we venture past the Watford Gap - but we’ve heard it is laden with ruffians who engage in fisticuffs after one too many jammy donut-flavoured shots.

Merseyside-born Alex Curran confirmed our fears today, when she explained why she and her pacifist husband Steven Gerrard will be tripping the light fantastic elsewhere in future:

“[Liverpool is] not the same any more.

“To be honest, it’s rough. Everywhere new that opens attracts the wrong type of people.

“It’s not nice, so I haven’t bothered to go out.”

Merseyside police have been quick to retort by claiming the risk of being a victim of personal crime in Liverpool is the lowest of any big city in Britain, although it is unknown whether this statement is a direct result of the fact that Steven Gerrard will no longer be socialising there.

[Ooh Aah Daily Star]

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How to attract the ladies like a Liverpool captain

One would imagine that a handsome devil like Steven Gerrard would have to beat the ladies off with a shit-covered stick, but the Liverpool star has revealed that he played the role of a nightclub tail chaser in his youth.

Instead of targeting the top talent and facing the possibility of humiliating rejection, Gerrard says he used to focus his energies on the more aesthetically challenging members of the opposite sex. “Go ugly, avoid the rush,” was the maxim he lived by when single.

Day-glo WAG Alex Curran must be delighted by this sexy admission.

Proof that Stevie G has a ‘type’

Back in the days before Steven Gerrard married a blonde with big fake boobs, he went out with a blonde with… well, a lady named Jennifer Ellison.

The Scouse hottie started her career on defunct soap Brookside, and gained popularity by winning Hells Kitchen and presenting TV shows such as Jennifer Ellison does Thailand (trust us, it’s a deceptive title). Jennifer is best known, however, for her tendency to wear tiny lingerie in gentleman’s periodicals such as Nuts and Zoo. 

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