Amongst the posers and millionaires, one man knows his place
Of course, the likes of Lamps and JT would never grace a C-list party with their irresistible presence - the sparkling anecdotes, the expensive drinks, the shiny skin. But one man in the Chelsea ranks is happy to muck in with the lowly workers.
Word has filtered in to The Spoiler that following the hilarious fancy dress do that the players attended, another Christmas party was held for everyone working at Chelsea, from the little man who polishes the toilet handles to Princess Frank.
As expected it was a bustling affair, rammed to the gills. But also, as expected, none of the players bothered to turn up.
“Except Cudicini,” says our pal, “he seemed really up for it.”
Seems someone wants to remind his employers that he really does work for them. And he’s not just there to polish the bogs.
World’s greatest footballer wants to hang with Argentina’s least favourite world leader.
Diego Armando Maradona, who like Pele travels the world meeting people, although unlike Pele only gladhands unstable political leaders, has announced the next name on his wish list - President Ahmedinejad of Iran. “I’ve met Chavez and Fidel,” said the big-haired one to an Iranian representative at the weekend, “so that just leaves Ahmedinejad for me to meet.
Mr Maradona has been invited to Iran, and declared himself in solidarity with the Iranian people “with all my heart.”
As usual, Mr Maradona’s words went down like an anvil in Argentina, especially amongst that country’s large Jewish population, who were targeted by terrorists in 1994 in a bomb blast that killed 85 people. Mr Maradona seems to have conveniently forgotten the widely-held belief that the terrorists were believed to have been acting on orders from Iran.
Mr Maradona has yet to reveal which mass-murdering maniac he will be dressing up as for New Year’s Eve.
Being a tasteful chap, Bobby Zamora proudly displayed a large canvas picture of his girlfriend’s breasts above their bed. Now he and ‘Page Three stunner’ Nicola T have split up, he has undoubtedly
National newspaper gives fast food chain illusions of grandeur
A story about a WAG trotting off to the shops would normally never make it past Heat Magazine, but this case is an exception. Pictured above is Alex Curran, who ventured out yesterday for the first time since being confronted by a gang of masked burglars in her home. The Sun, however, appear to be a
The Spoiler meets the patriotic front at Soho Square
Earlier today, The Spoiler was alerted to a huge fuss being made down at Soho Square. A mass of xenophobic yobs were said to be protesting at the FA’s decision to put another foreign manager in charge of the national side.
Naturally, we ran down as fast as we could, taping up jewellery and getting ready to windmill in, all in the name of
Rio is making sure his team will be Big Pimpin’ and knee-deep in hos
If you thought seeing an underperforming Ukrainian wearing a sexy rollneck to a party was exciting, wait until you hear the plans for Manchster Utd’s festive shin dig!
According to our good friends at Kickette, The Reds will be kicking into
It turns out she can belt out a song too, according to her
Christmas is a soul-crushing time of year, traditionally a low period for the miserable. Even It’s a Wonderful Life kicks off with a near suicide. But great news: while you’re transfixed by the sight of your nan chewing awkwardly on a potato like it’s the world’s stickiest toffee, don’t get all down, just remember
Yes, it’s the time of year when the overpaid megastars of the Premiership wear even stupider clothes than usual, and it was Chelsea’s turn to ring in the festive season in London last night.
While some players got in the spirit by donning fancy dress (see JT and Pizarro below), others treated it like a casual night out. Princess Frank wore his normal Princess attire, with socks rolled all the way up in order to please Fabio Capello.
Andriy Shevchenko is under the impression it’s still 1994, and wore a baggy rollneck accordingly.
When asked for a comment concerning Fabio Capello’s appointment in today’s Guardian, Gareth Southgate revealed a subconscious hatred of all things foreign:
“I don’t understand the point of international football if the manager, coach, kit man, etc are not all English […] That may sound xenophobic but surely
David Wheater has saved you all a seat at The Riverside
Save for the surprise victory over Arsenal last weekend, life for Middlesbrough fans has been a little depressing of late. Results have been poor, playing style has been soul-destroyingly dull and Gareth Southgate has been fretting over his tenure for some time. As a result, attendances have started to slide.
To combat this loss of revenue, the Premier League club have started
