The man who invented computers would be spinning in his grave

Whenever they’re quizzed about their personal lives away from the pitch, footballers are full of cliches - they might have “a glass of wine over dinner” or play some golf to unwind. But the real truth is far more disturbing.

Just look at Ashley Young.

While his team mates are happy to get blitzed in Movida/Chinawhites, or enjoy a some textbook intercourse with Danielle Lloyd, Young is logging on to the internet and frenziedly masturbating down a webcam to get his headrush.

“At first he seemed so charming and nice,” says Sarah - eyeballs still on stalks - to the News of the World. She’d met the Villa winger online, got chatting, and in true football fashion it wasn’t long before “he was going hard at it, reaching a climax at about 1.30am.”

“He’s got an impressive package,” she gasped in reference to her Premier League cyber-love. “I couldn’t believe what I was watching.”

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