Local criminal settles training ground argument with a chair

From the website 100% Injury Rate, a story of two Italian players who no longer like each other much. Instead of settling their differences properly, though, such as in a car park or by drinking alone deep into the night, the young men involved seem to have confused real life with the way arguments are settled in Italian-themed movies. And not Il Postino.

Davide Marchini and Pasquale Foggia, who play for Cagliari, were engaged in a spot of “handbags” in training last October. After trading insults, Foggia said ‘Let’s see what happens on Monday.’

The following Monday, doubtless after a weekend spent quaking with fear, Marchini was with another player in a Cagliari cafe, when who should come in and ask to join them but Foggia.

Marchini said no, so Foggia left. “But,” according to Marchini’s lawyer, “in came a name with a thick Neapolitan accent, who sat down next to Marchini.” (For those who don’t speak criminalese, “name” = gangster, possibly in the notorious organisation that begins with “m” and rhymes with raffia.)

“He asked why Marchini had fought with Foggia in training. Marchini got up to leave, but then the man punched him in the nose,” continued the lawyer. “Marchini tried to escape, only to be chased by his assailant, who was at this time wielding a chair. Marchini escaped, and the man threw the chair at a parked car as Foggia stood outside.”

Mr Foggia, Mr Marchini, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Everyone knows that these people are capable of so much more than throwing chairs at parked cars. Next time do it properly, please.