The Spoiler heads north to check out The Glass Spider, but don’t tell Roy Keane

In the abyss of hotspots where Premier League footballers and WAGs of mixed repute head to get drunk/ steamrollered, a shaft of light has fallen on a venue named ‘The Glass Spider’. This ain’t your usual celeb hangout – there’s no paparazzi hounding the exits, no John Terry pissing on the floor, and, perhaps most shockingly, it isn’t located in the capital.

The Northeastern venue hit The Spoiler’s radar this week as Roy Keane banned his goal-scoring boozehound Anthony Stokes from attending. So we decided to investigate…

Where: Just off the A1231 on Green Terrace, Sunderland. It’s the one that looks like a grotty student bar. And there’s a good reason why.

How much: ‘How little’ is probably a more appropriate term. Grab yourself a flyer for cheap entry, and you shouldn’t need to leave a credit card behind the bar when ordering (the prices will ‘make your jaw drop’, apparently). Entry for special events such as the ‘Ronan keating [sic] Tribute’ is just fifteen pounds, or individual finance arrangements can be made (one patron says on a message board: “wen me darz on the doors i can get in for nowt”).

The clientele: Students, the unemployable and all of the delightful folk in these online galleries. And maybe Anthony Stokes wearing a fake moustache.

The look: Like every other provincial bar in the land. A huge outdoor glass conservatory on the top floor ‘gives lovers the chance to watch the stars’, while ‘swirls of eye-catching wallpaper and Victorian-style seating’ are guaranteed to captivate your senses. In fact, you’ll probably never see better wallpaper in a drinking establishment.

Music: Sunday is R ‘n’ B night, but everyone other evening lays subject to the irony-fuelled cheese that student types crave. So if you love Chesney Hawkes and Bryan Adams…

Dress Code: Rules on dress only apply on Friday and Saturday evenings, when some sort of covering on the upper torso is required, and shoes are recommended.

The drinks: House specialities include ‘Carling’, ‘Guinness’ and ‘Snakebite’. Order anything else, and locals may think you’re a bit ‘ginger beer’.

Ever been to The Glass Spider? Retell the experience in a comment below.