Four billion quid makes you a very funny guy

Now it seems that not only is Alki David a superb kisser, has his own money factory and is the only man capable of putting the smile back on the face of sad little orphan Coventry, but he’s a really funny guy too. According to his then PA, in an interview with the Times in 2005, “We were doing a pilot for a comedy and I had to organise the props, including a 5ft penis and some police uniforms. I had better not say too much, but it was absolutely hilarious.” What fun it’s going to be at Coventry! And when do we get to see the pilot with the giant schlong?