While you were face down in a plate of sprouts, top stars were out making news…

While you were snoozing in the enormous armchair, your trousers damn near breaking thanks to nine helpings of stuffing, the world was still busy entertaining the wants of sportsmen and their wives. Here’s what we know about the last couple of weeks:

Crouch’s gorgeous girlfriend Abigail Clancy does her shopping down at the local Tesco, not, as one would have thought, in Waitrose.

Kevin Pietersen soothed the burning shame of a terrible test series by marrying that girl who used to be in Liberty X.

Sweden’s Ibrahimovic thinks the hip area the perfect spot for a tattoo declaring “only God can judge me”. (FYI Zlatan, we can judge you too).

Coleen had this to say of her fellow WAGS: “I hardly ever see any of the others, I hang out with my own friends.” Miaow!

And this was said about Sven: “Tord has secretly played the accordion for years. He brings it out for special dinners and entertains his chums at dinner parties. Sven has always talked about taking it up and has had his first few lessons. He has found it really relaxing and is keen to take it further.”

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