Milan’s very own choirboy pulling strings to make sure they don’t buy his evil twin

Kaka would probably stroll any contest for the planet’s most pious footballer - not so long ago he discussed the prospect of joining the priesthood upon retiring from the game - but at the thought of fellow Brazilian Ronaldinho moving to Milan, the hand of brotherly love has remained firmly in his britches. Possibly making an angry fist.

Not only does he feel that he and Ronaldinho have never played well together for the national side, he’s been telling tales to Papa Berlusconi about how Ronaldinho is a “bad influence” in the dressing room, and so maybe it wouldn’t be such a good idea to buy him during this transfer window. Indeed, perhaps it would be better to slam the window in his face and tell him to get off Milan’s goddamn property before he can get up to any of his party tricks, such as leaving nightclubs at 11 in the morning in the boot of a car.

Ronaldinho is currently being kept out of the Barcelona side by a mystery injury and such has been his lack of enthusiasm for the club this season the only question is whether he’ll leave in January or the summer. Milan was thought to be his preferred destination, but that was before his good friend Kaka put a match to the welcome mat…