Attempts to emulate Alan Shearer’s World Cup netbuster. Fails. Remember when Alan Shearer rifled this indirect free kick into the back of the net in a 1998 World Cup qualifier against Georgia?

He may not be any good at punditry, but there was absolutely no stopping that textbook kick. This Japanese chap, however, doesn’t quite nail the technique. (Note also his failure to persuade the earth to swallow him up, despite staying down for an unhealthily long time.)